St McKinley's School For Wicked Girls
by GrittyRe-boot
Summary: Historical AU: They tell him that she's been sent away, far away, and he is never to see her again. But Finn Hudson doesn't give up that easily, and he will stop at nothing to find her and his unborn child, even if it means defying her parents, his duty to his country, and what everyone expects. Finchel with Furt and Pezberry friendship.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I don't own glee, if I did Cory Monteith would be my bff and Naya Rivera would be my lady.**

**I know, I know I suck and should only be focusing on one story, but I can't help it dammit, you know how I am. Also, I've wanted to write a fifties finchel fic forever, so here it finally is. I'm not expecting it to be nearly as popular as Bully seeing as my other historical AU fic completely tanked, but I hope whoever reads this really likes it anyway. Also there will be some angst here naturally but nothing as horrible as Bully or Somewhere There's a Place For Us, and I have a humor story planned for my next outing. I can't be a freaking downer _all_ the time. For anyone reading Bully, keep your eyes open for another update tomorrow.**

**Lima Ohio, 1951**

He keeps going over it in his head, how to tell them. He knows that Burt will be proud, and Carole will cry and hug him and won't want to let him go, but in the end she'll send him on his way with her blessing, and he knows that Kurt will make some joke to hide the fact that his heart is aching too. But no matter how hard they cry and fuss over him, he knows that they won't try to talk him out of it. It's what they've always wanted for him, to make something of himself, to do something with his life that he could feel proud of. He knows he owes it to them to become a great man, he owes them the world. Finn Hudson was never supposed to have this life, he wasn't supposed to make it through school, he isn't supposed to have people in his life who care about him and a girl who's too good for him but loves him so fiercely anyway. sometimes he can't believe how lucky he got, and he hopes that luck will follow him to war. He ships out a month after graduation, so there's time at least, time to spend with the closest thing he's ever had to a family, time to spend with them... time to spend with her.

He climbs the four steps to the Hummel's front porch and takes a deep breath before knocking. He shouldn't be so anxious, not really, the truth is they'll probably be expecting as much, but still, the nervousness is almost overwhelming and hits him even harder when Carole opens the door, that same beaming smile on her face that she always gets when she sees him

"Hi Carole," he says, smiling back. Carole Hummel is one of the kindest, warmest ladies he's ever known, the way she hugs and smiles and always smells like fresh laundry always makes everything seem better, and she makes it so easy to forget he didn't grow up here, that she was never really his.

"Finn, where have you been? Your dinner is ice cold mister," she says, grabbing him by the wrist and yanking him inside the house.

"Sorry, I lost track of the time," he replies.

"Don't be sorry, be on time," she replies teasingly. She made a pot roast, his favorite, it's like somehow she knew today would end up being unlike every other day.

"Carole," he starts. "There's something I have to say, something important."

"Food first," she insists. "You must be starving." He is to be honest, and everything looks so good that his mouth is starting to water, so he relents, sinking down in the chair in front of his meal as Carole pours him some iced tea. He tries to eat slow like she always tells him, the first meal he had on this table he ate like he'd never have anything to eat again in his life, because that was a very real possibility three years ago.

"Well look what the cat dragged in," Finns turns his attention to the doorway between the den and the kitchen, where Carole's husband Burt now stands, a beer in hand and an easy smile on his lips. "You weren't getting into trouble with the Berry girl again were you?"

"No sir," he replies truthfully, he hasn't spoken to Rachel all day, he still doesn't even know how to begin to break the news to her, she's the main reason he's doing this to begin with, but it's not likely that she'll see it that way. The Hummels were going to be a piece of cake compared to her.

"If anything she's the one who keeps him out of trouble," Carole says. "She's just the loveliest girl." Finn has to smile at that, because he knows better than anyone.

"Well anyway, glad you're home, I could use your help in the garage when you get a moment," Burt says. It's not his home, not really, but it always makes Finn feel good to hear them say that.

He finishes his meal and leaves Carole with an appreciative kiss on the cheek before joining Burt in the garage. He thinks the news will be easier to break to Burt first, then they can tell Carole together.

"Can you hand me that Allen wrench?" Burt says, not looking up from under the hood, Finn obliges, handing it to him without words.

"So, you going to tell me what's on your mind?" Burt says, continuing to his task.

"That obvious huh?" Finn says with a nervous chuckle.

"What's troubling you kid?"

He lets out a low exhale and figures there's no point delaying any more. It's easier somehow with Burt not looking at him, and Finn focuses very hard on the tennis ball hanging from the beams on the ceiling as he starts to talk.

"Well, as you know graduation is only two months away, and I know you said I still had a job at the tire shop if I wanted it."

"You betcha," Burt says quickly. "Can you hand me that flathead?"

As he gives him the screwdriver he continues his prepared speech, clearing his throat before speaking again.

"I really appreciate the opportunity Burt, I can't tell you how much...

"Oh no, here comes the but," Burt says, finally looking up from his work.

"I think what I'm looking for, what I really want out of life, it isn't here, it isn't in this town," Finn continues. "I want to do something more with my life, I want a good job and a family and all of the things that you have."

"You can have all that here," Burt protests,

"Not with Rachel," Finn argues, and a look of understanding graces Burt's features then. "But I have to prove that I'm worthy of her if her pa's ever going to let her marry me."

"Hot damn son, I didn't realize," Burt says, a serious look on his face.

"She's the one, the only one," Finn says without missing a beat. "But she deserves a man Burt, and the only way I can be that for her-

"Is by enlisting?" Burt says, finishing Finn's sentence, he just looks down then, shifting his feet.

"How'd you know?" Finn says quietly.

"Because I know you," Burt says. "You've always had your code of honor even back when you were stealing car parts."

"I'll be out before Rachel graduates college," Finn continues. "The army will pay for my degree, and I can get a good job, give her a good life."

"Well you don't have to convince me," Burt says, clapping him solidly on the back. "It takes a brave man to fight for his country, and a good man to fight for his girl. And whether you realize it or not, you're both son."

"Thanks Burt," Finn says with a small smile. "You want to go tell Carole."

"Get ready for the waterworks," Burt says, closing the hood for now.

"They'll prepare me for Rachel," Finn says as he starts back into the house. He still doesn't even know where to begin with Rachel.

* * *

LeRoy's roses are always so beautiful this time of year, she could stay out in the garden for hours, just inhaling the sweet fragrance in the air. It reminds her of Finn, it was about this time three years ago when she first caught him sleeping in her treehouse, she let him sleep that night, covering him with a blanket from her room. When she returned the next morning he was gone, the blanket neatly folded and a freshly cut rose sitting happily in a coca cola bottle on the little shelf, a gift, a thank you. She crushed that rose in a book once it started to wilt, he doesn't know that she still has it, or even that she found it in the first place.

She wonders if the flowers will be as lovely in New York, probably not without LeRoy and his green thumb always around, but she supposes if her parents aren't reason enough to visit then LeRoy and his roses surely are.

She curses the fact that she still has to wait so long. Somehow New York already feels like home without her ever having set foot there, and she wishes she could just fall asleep for two years and wake up in Finn's arms in their New York city apartment. It will have to be an apartment, surely they won't allow Finn to live in the dorms with her, and she simply won't leave without him. Her parents will be angry, furious even, although they've always been fond enough of Finn as a high school steady they certainly didn't see him as suitable for her to spend the rest of her life with, and they took every opportunity to remind her every time she found herself talking too seriously about their relationship. She's his girl, sure, but as far as her parents are concerned that ends with graduation. They insist that college is where she'll find the man she was meant to marry and Finn will seem like a distant memory before the first semester is over. Silly parents.

"Psst!"

She's suddenly snapped out of her thoughts by the loud whisper coming from the treehouse, and she doesn't even have to look to know who it is, but she smiles up at him anyway.

"Hello stranger," she says sweetly. It's only been a day since she's seen him last but she still missed him, and was starting to worry that he was avoiding her, but seeing him now, waiting for her in the treehouse like so many times before, smiling that sweet smile of his, her mind is instantly put at ease. She climbs the rope ladder quickly and throws her arms around his neck, and he returns the favor with a kiss, a long, deep kiss that steals her breath, the kind of kiss that nice boys weren't supposed to know how to give.

"Finn," she sighs breathlessly as their lips part, resting her forehead against his. "I've been missing you all day."

"Me too," he replies, combing a bit of loose hair behind her ear, she can just make him out in the pale moonlight, his freckled nose, his dimpled smile, his warm amber eyes, her Finn.

"Did Burt work you half dead at the tire shop again?"

"No," he says softly, and upon closer inspection she realizes that he looks a little nervous, and maybe a bit sad.

"What's the matter honey bear?" she says, unlinking her arms from around his neck and cupping his face in her hands.

"I just, there's something I wanted to talk to you about, something important."

She sits back a little, concerned. "What is it Finn?"

"Well," he starts, scratching the back of his neck nervously. "You love me, right?"

"Of course I do," she answers as if the very question is ridiculous.

"I love you too, I love you very much," he replies, lacing his fingers through hers. "And I want to marry you one day."

"I want to marry you too Finn Hudson," she says with a smile in her voice.

"But before I can make you my wife I want to be good enough to be your husband, I want to be the man you deserve Rachel."

"You are the man I deserve," she says insistently. "You're the best one in the entire world."

"You're too good to me," he says. "But the fact is when your parents look at me they don't see their future son in law, they see-

"I don't care about what my mom and dad think Finn," she says, cutting him off. "You know that, and where is this coming from anyway?" she continues and now she's the one who sounds nervous.

"I'm enlisting Rachel," he finally says, so quietly she thinks she misunderstands him at first, she hopes she's misunderstanding him.

"No," she says firmly, shaking her head sharply. "No, not in a millions years, no."

"Rachel-

"You're not going," she insists further. "Do you have any idea what can happen to you over there?"

"Nothing is going to happen to me, I promise you that," he responds.

"You're right nothing is going to happen to you, because you're not going," she says, and her voice is breaking now. "You'll work at Burt's shop and when I graduate we'll go to New York, together, that's what we talked about."

"That's what _you_ talked about Rachel, but have you ever really thought about what I'm going to do in New York with no job and no degree, how am I going to take care of you while you go on your auditions?"

"We can take care of each other," she says desperately, and she's full blown crying now, because she can't believe he would even consider this with the war going on. "How can we do that if you die?"

He leans in then, kissing her firmly, cradling her head in his hands and moving his lips insistently over hers.

"I won't," he promises as he breaks the kiss. "I have too damn much to live for."

"I knew it," she says, shaking her head. "I knew you would do this to me, you have soldier written all over you. I can see it every time I look in your eyes and it just terrifies me. But Finn you're so much more than that, you're kind and good and you sing beautifully and I don't care what anyone says, you're as smart as the day is long, I don't deserve someone better Finn, there is no one better."

"Come here," he says, his voice gentle, and she collapses against him, letting him hold her and rub her back as she cries. "This will be good for us, once my service is up I can get a proper education, and a good job, in New York with you, and we'll get married and we'll be happy forever and ever. I promise you Rachel."

"What am I going to do without you for four years Finn? Tell me that."

"You're going to be a star that's what you're going to do," he replies, and he kisses the top of her head as he holds her and she wipes at her tears.

"Rachel, honey it's getting late, come inside!" at the sound of Mr. Berry's voice she sits up from Finn's embrace, wiping her nose and smoothing her hair.

"I have to go," she says, her voice a little hoarse. "But we're not done talking about this." before he can say anything she leans in and kisses him again, her lips trembling a bit against his own. "I love you so much."

"I love you," he responds and kisses her one last time before she disappears down the rope ladder.

**I took a risk making Finn an orphan and Carole Kurt's biological mom instead, but I hope making her a prominent motherly figure in his life will quell the oddness some. Stay tuned folks!**


	2. Odd Jobs

He likes to lay out on the cool grass, looking up at the stars. Some nights he can be out here for hours at a time without even realizing it and Carole has to call him back in. It's the best place in the world just to think. He can't forget Rachel's face, and her tears. It's as if she could feel him slipping away. If only she knew, she could never lose him, not ever. If anything he was constantly afraid of losing her. The first time they met he didn't even consider the fact that he could have her. It was the day he turned fifteen, he'd arrived in Lima about a month earlier and had for the most part managed to avoid any unwanted attention. He was tall for his age, taller than many grown men, it wasn't out of line to think he might be eighteen in spite of his freckled, boyish face, so nobody questioned the mysterious young man all on his own, except Rachel Berry. He'd come to this town looking for the mother he never knew, instead he found her.

_He spent most afternoons in the library, flipping through the sports books, studying about cars, learning to read music and checking the community bulletin board for any odd jobs in the area, he managed to keep himself fed and showered doing housework and small home repairs for little old ladies on the outskirts of town. But he wanted to do something special for his fifteenth birthday, maybe go to a nice restaurant and buy the new batman comic, he'd already worn out all of his old ones reading them from cover to cover over and over again. But the bulletin board hadn't changed in over a week, all of the same postings. No new jobs meant his birthday would be like any other day since he escaped that hellhole of a foster home, he'd spend all day in the library like always, and as soon as they kicked him out he'd drift through town until it was late enough to go back to the treehouse, a blanket waiting for him like an unspoken promise. He didn't know who it was, the angel of mercy who let him spend every night there without question, but he owed that person more than they would ever know._

It was like he expected, no new postings, no birthday dinner. He sighed defeatedly and turned away from it. At least there was a new Alan Grant mystery book in that day. He made his way through the fiction section, but as he spotted yet another disappointment in the aisle he stopped short, of course she would be looking at the same book he wanted.

In the few seconds it took him to realize that it was officially the worst birthday ever, a smile reached his lips at the sight of the beautiful girl stealing his book. She looked a little younger than him, thirteen or fourteen maybe, and she was tiny, definitely a good deal smaller than he was, with thick brown hair clipped to the side and falling around her shoulders.

"Excuse me miss, I hate to bother you but I thought I should warn you," he started. "You don't want that book."

"And why not?" she said, not looking up from her book.

"Well I hear it's just awful," he said as convincingly as he could manage.

"I'm sorry but I promised a friend I'd bring him this book, he just adores the adventures of inspector Grant, he's home with a dreadful back injury and I wanted to cheer him up." she explained.

"Well that's awful nice of you," Finn said. "But if I wanted to cheer up a friend I wouldn't bring him such a lousy book."

"I know what you're doing and it's not going to work," she said coolly, still not looking at him. "You can return for the book in a week."

"Well it won't be my birthday in a week," he said then, deciding simply to go with the truth.

It was only then that she finally looked at him, and he noticed her big brown eyes, and how they widened in what looked like surprise then immediately narrowed in confusion, and there was simply silence, and it was like she recognized him, but he couldn't imagine how.

"Happy Birthday..." she said almost silently, still staring at him as if in a trance.

"Finn, the names Finn," he said, extending his hand for her to shake. "Finn Hudson."

"Rachel Berry," she said quietly, offering her own hand, soft and warm and small.

"Listen, Rachel, if you could get your friend another book I'd be awful grateful to you, it just hasn't been the best birthday so far. But I think having that book would really turn things around."

He started to feel a little uncomfortable under her gaze, the way her eyes took in his appearance, he didn't look homeless, he knew that much, he came with a whole backpack full of clothes, and a comb and everything, but she looked at him as if she knew some how.

"Look if it's that important to you I can wa-

"Finn?" she said then, cutting him off. "Can you mow a lawn?"

"Excuse me," he said, not following.

"Our Gardener, LeRoy, he's the one with the back injury, he hasn't been able to tend to the grass in days and it's terribly overgrown, I'm sure while he's away he wouldn't mind you cutting it for us, in fact I'm sure he'd appreciate it, and of course we would pay you, we'd love to pay you."

Yes, somehow she definitely knew.

"Well I'd like to but I don't even have my own mower," he explained.

"That's alright, we have one," she said reassuringly. "My father detests the heat and my mother probably wouldn't even know how to turn it on, you're our only hope Finn, would you please come cut our grass?"

Her eyes were just so big, like a deer or something, and he did need the money, and her eyes...

"Sure, I think I can help you out." he finally said, and she gave him a beaming smile and took him by the wrist, leading him toward the front counter to check out the book before returning home.

As they walked the few blocks back to her house he began to grow concerned, because he recognized the area a little too well, but she talked the whole way, about school and her family and her love for singing, and it was almost as if she had tried to distract him, and it worked because he talked too, about growing up in Cleveland, and football and how he loved music too, but as they got closer to her house he began to get quiet, and hoped like hell they didn't stop at the home with the treehouse in back.

"This is it," she said, and he swallowed hard, it was definitely the house. And unless there was another kid here, she was definitely the one who left him the blanket that night, it would explain why she seemed as if she knew him, she knew him before he ever met her.

"Mother this is Finn Hudson," she said to the pretty lady sitting on the porch. "He agreed to cut our grass."

He looked down nervously, shifting his feet before smiling weakly up at the woman. "morning ma'am," he said, his voice shaky.

"Rachel, sweetheart what have I told you about offering strange men work?" her mother said sternly. "We had this same conversation about LeRoy and that Hummel gentlemen who fixed our car."

"And they both turned out to be exceptional workers, besides, Finn's hardly a strange man," Rachel argued. "How old might you say you are Finn?"

"I turned eighteen today actually," he explained.

"Eighteen?" her mother said in disbelief, "You look awfully young."

"Just lucky I guess," Finn said with a light shrug.

"Well happy birthday, but I'm sure you wouldn't want to spend it cutting our grass," the woman said, once again rather coldly.

"Oh dear, I didn't even think about that, I'm terribly sorry, you probably have plans," Rachel said guiltily.

"No, no plans," he explained, reassuring her, but at the odd look on her mother's face he knew he had to cover his slip-up, because what sort of eighteen year old boy didn't have plans on his birthday? "Until later, I have plans later."

"Well then it's settled, please mother, you can't deny our yard needs tending."

"I suppose it would be all right, I'll pay you two dollars for the back and front," Mrs. Berry finally agreed.

He smiled then, two dollars wouldn't buy him a nice dinner, but it was more than enough for the comic and a burger, he was thinking it wasn't going to be such a lousy birthday after all, but he looked aside at Rachel, and noticed she looked unhappy.

"Mother, it's his birthday," Rachel pleaded.

"And two dollars is perfectly generous I'd say," Mrs. Berry argued.

"It is, it's very generous," Finn said frantically, hoping not to lose the job altogether.

"I think we can do a little better than that," Rachel protested, crossing her arms, and he had to admit he was beyond curious about the strong willed little girl already, she seemed smart and determined beyond her years, like she could accomplish anything no matter how big or small the task.

"I suppose I could offer you three dollars," the woman said sighing in defeat, and Rachel's hard look transitioned into one of satisfaction as her mother retreated inside.

"Thank you Finn," she said, smiling up at him. "You're really helping us a lot." And he understood what she was doing, she wanted to help him, but she didn't want to embarrass him, and she probably didn't know exactly what to do aside from giving him a job, it was more than enough, honestly.

"Rachel, I-I mean. The treehouse, that isn't what it looks like, I mean, it is what it looks like, but I am alright, I promise I'm alright, I mean, I get by," he rambled.

"Finn, I can imagine if you haven't contacted the authorities there must be a reason," she said, and he nodded. "I just hope you know that you can't be alone like this forever."

"I'm not alone," he lied.

"Well, even still, come autumn if you haven't found a warm place to stay I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't contact someone on your behalf, until then, you're welcome to use the treehouse, I won't tell anyone, I promise."

She leaves him with a light squeeze on the shoulder before leading him to the toolshed to get the mower.

"By the way," she said, turning again to face him. "How old are you really?"

"I'm 18, honest," he insisted, but she didn't look swayed. "I just look young is all."

She crossed her arms, not budging.

"Okay, I'm 17," he said then, but she clearly didn't believe him any more than she did before.

"15," he mumbled sheepishly, and finally she nodded and continued to the shed.

He used the money to buy the new batman comic, and read it while he waited for his dinner at breadsticks, the nicest restaurant in town, and when he returned to the treehouse late that night a brand new copy of the new Alan Grant novel was waiting for him, wrapped in pretty paper with a card that read **Happy Birthday, Finn,** and it was the best birthday he'd ever had, up until then at least.

He takes a slow drag of his cigarette as he recalls the first day he met Rachel Berry, the girl who changed his life, the girl he loves, and he knows that no matter how much she protests, he has to do this, he has to become more than just the poor little orphan boy she found in a treehouse.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he looks up at Kurt, a bit startled as the other boy takes a seat next to him on the grass.

"It's just Rachel," Finn explains. "She's not exactly over the moon about me joining up."

"Well of course not, she just wants you to be safe, she loves you," Kurt replies. Burt and Carole's son had this way about telling Finn things he already knew and still making it sound like novel wisdom.

"I still don't understand why," Finn says, flicking ashes onto the grass. "But her loving me isn't something I can just take for granted, I have to earn it."

"What makes you think you haven't?"

"She's sixteen Kurt, and her parents have money, everything's so easy for her now," Finn explains. "I don't want her to end up resenting me when she realizes I can't give her that kind of security."

"She would never resent you."

"Maybe not at first, but she's always been so proud of me, I just want to give her a real reason for once."

"Well you know I support you," Kurt says. "But I think we both know this isn't going to be easy, she's stubborn that one."

"I know it," Finn says, taking another drag. "I've never known a girl to be the one to talk guy into bed before."

"Wait," Kurt says, surprised. "You didn't?"

He simply smirks at him. "Last month, and a couple of times since then too."

"Well well well," Kurt says proudly, raising his eyebrows. "I just hope you guys are being careful."

"She got one of her friends at school to buy her a diaphragm, she'd been planning for weeks."

"That's Rachel," Kurt says, shrugging.

"Yeah," Finn says fondly. "That's Rachel."

He'll talk to her again tomorrow, somehow he'll get her to see things his way, even if she is stubborn.

**The main plot of this story probably won't come into play until about chapter four, which is an oddity with me seeing as I usually dive right into the action, now were just getting into the history of these characters, and it's worth saying that a good chunk of this will be told in flashbacks. Also, sorry for the short first two chapters, the following ones should be longer. Anywhoo, stay tuned folks!**


	3. Lost Boy

She marches the ten blocks to Burt's auto in a furious huff, her fists tight, her ponytail swinging back and forth like a pendulum. She didn't get a wink of sleep last night because all she could think about when she closed her eyes was Finn's beautiful face riddled with bullet holes. She won't let this happen and she knows the one man he'll listen to no matter what is Burt Hummel.

"I need to talk to you," she fumes as she enters the shop, paying no mind to the customer he's currently talking to at his desk.

"What's the matter little bit?" Burt says, concern on his face.

"I need to talk to you," she repeats, a little louder, a little angrier.

"Give me a second Pete," Burt says, awaiting an approving nod from the man before meeting Rachel at the front of the store. "step into my office kiddo."

She follows him inside, holding her tongue while Pete's still in earshot.

"What is it? Talk to me sweetheart," Burt says, taking a seat at his desk as she remains standing.

"He can't go," she cries and it's all the words Burt needs to understand her look of anguish.

"So he told you huh?" Burt says calmly.

"You knew? And you're allowing this?"

"He's eighteen Rachel, he can make his own decisions, and I know you don't want to hear this but I think he's making the right one, and deep down you know it too."

She crosses her arms, her face hard, refusing to agree with him on this, because it couldn't be the right thing if they weren't together.

"I'm so scared Burt," she says, deflating. "I can't even imagine the terrible things that can happen to him."

"I know you're scared," Burt says, understanding. "But you can't protect him forever, and neither can I."

"That's not what I'm doing," she says defensively.

"Come on Rachel I wasn't born yesterday," Burt says. "Ever since the day you met you've felt like you needed to take care of him, when I know for a fact that all he really wants is to take care of you."

Her heart warms at Burt's words but she doesn't let it reach her face, she continues to stand there with that cold, hard look on her face.

"He doesn't have to prove anything to me Burt, I know what kind of man he is."

"And so do !" Burt agrees. "But I don't think he knows what kind of man he is. Finn's had a few tough breaks, it's normal that he would want to prove to himself that he's more than his past and if joining up with our boys over there is how he aims to do it than I can't fight him on it, it's an admirable thing he's doing."

"Do you think I'm being selfish?" she says after a few short moments. "Trying to stop him?"

"There's nothing selfish about wanting Finn to be safe, but you just have to have faith that he'll find his way home."

"To New York," she says with a bit of quiet desperation in her voice, not really a question.

"To you," he answers, making her lips turn up in a weak smile. "Now get out of here, Pete's gonna flip his lid if I hold him up too much longer."

"I suppose I should go find Finn," she says, deflating a bit.

She doesn't have to look very hard as she leaves Burt's office, she stops short at the sight of her sweetheart, standing there with his hands in his pockets and his head slightly down, as if he was waiting for her.

"Finn," she says, just the slightest but startled.

"Your pa said you would be here," he says, and she can tell by his voice that he knows exactly what she was here for. "Can we talk?"

Wordlessly she takes his hand and leads him outside, and they stand there for a moment, shifting their feet, unsure of who should say what first.

"I'm sorry I upset you," he finally says. "I would never want to do that, you know that."

"I know," she says softly. "I'm sorry I yelled, it's just-

"I know you're scared, but this will be good for us, I promise."

"Will you stop thinking about me, or us for once?" she says a bit snappishly. "Is this what _you_ want?"

He sighs a little at her words, scratching the back of his head in contemplation.

"There's a handful of things I know for sure about myself Rachel. I know I hate arithmetic, and I like to sing, and love you more than anything else on this planet." her face lights up as his words as he continues to speak. "But beyond that I don't really know myself at all, I've never gotten that chance."

She knows what he means, she doesn't want to know, but she does. As wonderful as he is in so many ways he's always been the slightest bit lost, she sees it every time she goes on about her own dreams, maybe this was the way he would finally find out what his were.

"If you feel like you need to do this I can't stop you, can I?" she admits tearfully.

"Hey, I'm not leaving tomorrow," he assures her, tilting her chin up so she can look him in the eye, and slowly, reluctantly she nods.

* * *

She knows he's not leaving tomorrow, still, she wants their last days together before he ships out to be special and wonderful. She makes a silent vow to spend every possible moment with him before he goes. She knows her parents won't approve, but she finds it hard to concern herself too much with their wishes, they've never really understood her when it came to Finn.

They'll eat dinner together like usual and she'll wait for them to go to sleep before she retreats to the treehouse, he knows to meet her there and somehow even though tonight isn't unlike any other night, she finds herself sprucing up in the mirror a little more than usual. She takes her ponytail down and sets it up in rollers, and puts a bit of rouge on her cheeks, hoping he'll be able to notice in the faint moonlight, and she spritzes on a bit of her expensive perfume in case he doesn't. After pulling out her rollers and admiring her bouncy new coif in the mirror, she descends down the stairs to join her parents at the dinner table.

"Well don't you look nice?" Mrs. Berry says, her tone the slightest bit accusatory. "What's the occasion?"

"No occasion," Rachel lies, shrugging.

"Are you sure you weren't thinking of meeting up with that Hudson boy?" Mrs. Berry continues.

"His name is Finn mother," Rachel says a bit coldly.

"We've told you more than once that we don't like you spending so much time with him," Mrs. Berry continues. "Hiram, say something."

"Your mother is right Rachel," he chimes in. "You know how much we like Finn..."

"Is that a fact?" Rachel says before he can finish. "Because every conversation we've had about him recently has consisted of you reiterating every little thing you don't like about him."

"We just don't want you to get your heart broken is all," Mrs. Berry explains.

"Finn would never do that," Rachel protests.

"He may not mean to," Mrs. Berry says calmly. "But boys like that, with no foundation, no traditional upbringing, they tend to be very unstable, and he's graduating soon, he's going to get restless sooner or later."

"Why does it irk you so much that Finn doesn't have a family?" Rachel says. "You never pass up the opportunity to remind me, or him for that matter."

"Just don't be surprised one day if all you have to remind you of him is a farewell letter left on your doorstep,"

"Shelby-" Hiram begins to protest. But Rachel cuts in before he can finish.

"That's a terrible thing to say mother," Rachel says. "Why is it so hard for you to believe that Finn loves me? He's been here for three years there must be a reason."

"Burt Hummel's not going to provide that boy a couch to sleep on forever Rachel," Shelby argues.

"All were saying is that you need to be careful," Mr. Berry says calmly. "Finn is a very nice young man but there's still so much we can never truly know about him, things he doesn't even know about himself, I'd be lying if I said that didn't worry me. He's not the kind of man a girl like you ends up settling down with."

She goes silent at that point, both in anger and in deep thought. She hates herself for even considering for a second that her parents may have a point, but Finn is leaving after all, what if it really did end up being for good? She pushes the thought away instantly, Finn loves her, he may be lost, he may have spent most of his life drifting from place to place, but one thing is for sure, he loves her, if she can only count on one thing then it's that.

"Finn does love me," Rachel finally says, getting up from the table. "I'm sorry, I'm not very hungry."

She has to wait longer than usual for them to go to sleep that night, she waits impatiently, restlessly, biting her fingernails and tapping her foot until she finally hears her father snoring lightly from down the hall. She doesn't wait another moment before darting outside to her backyard and frantically climbing up the ladder. She greets him the way she always does, throwing her arms around him, but there's a bit more desperation in her hug this time, like she's afraid to let him go in more ways than one.

"Hey hey hey, what's the matter?" Finn says, stroking her back comfortingly.

"Nothing," she says, holding him tight. "I just need you to promise me that you're going to come back to me."

"Rachel I-

"Promise me," she says forcefully, cutting him off.

"I promise," he says, combing a bit of stray hair behind her ear. And she kisses him because she needs to kiss him, she needs to feel how much he loves her in his kiss, it's the only thing that makes her parents words fade from her mind.

"I don't want you to go," she says, wiping her tears. "but I want you to find what you're looking for, I do, and a man like you can do so much good for this country, they would be lucky to have you."

"You really are the best girl in the world you know that?" he says softly. "I'd be an idiot not to come back to you."

She kisses him again, pushing against him suggestively, she doesn't have to speak for him to know what she wants, what she needs right now, and he doesn't protest as she unbuttons his shirt, and she sighs encouragingly as he slides his hand underneath her blouse, it isn't what good girls are supposed to do, she knows it, god knows her mother has told her more than once, but it's not some urge to rebel that sent her into the arms of Finn. It wasn't defiance, but the purest love that allowed her to trust him so completely with her body, and there was nothing sinful about that, there couldn't be anything sinful in something that felt so right and good and perfect.

"You belong to me," she says breathlessly as they make love to one another with tenderness and passion. "Remember that."

"Always."

* * *

She loves the days when LeRoy comes to tend to the garden, he's such a nice man and he always tells the best stories, and something about his warm smile and the kindly glint in her eye always makes her feel more at ease. She's felt strange all day, like her stomach is all tied up in knots. It's been a few weeks since Finn told her he was joining up, and in spite of herself she's become a bit more comfortable with the idea, she doesn't want him to go any more than she did the first day he told her, but she gave him her blessing and she wasn't going to take it back now, and she knew that Finn was a survivor, that if anyone would come back from the war in one piece it would be him, still she felt like something wasn't right. Maybe LeRoy would bring some more of his delightful soda bread, her stomach did feel a bit unsettled. She knew she wasn't sick, she never got sick, it must have been anxiety over Finn, but why was it suddenly so much more potent today after she's had time to dwell on it?

As always LeRoy is right on time, whistling an indistinct tune as he traipses up the walkway.

"Hello Mr. LeRoy," Rachel says with the closest thing to enthusiasm she can muster in her current state.

"Why hello Ms. Rachel," LeRoy says, tipping his newsboy cap to her.

"I take it you're doing well this morning."

"Can't complain," he says with a shrug as he gets to work on the hedges. "How about you?"

"I'm feeling a bit under the weather today actually," she admits.

"Yeah, I noticed you're looking a little green," he says, pausing his task for a bit.

"The fresh air helps a little," she says, shrugging it off. "You know what else would help..." she continues slyly with a bit of a smirk.

"Way ahead of you Ms. Rachel," he says, setting his hedge clippers down and reaching into his bag, he pulls out the paper bag and tosses it to her, and she opens it like a child on Christmas.

"Why Mr. leRoy whatever would I do without you?" she says before taking a bite of the fresh baked bread. And he simply laughs and continues his work. She mostly watches him as he works and talks, telling her a funny tale about a man he met on the bus who claimed to have invented a device that translated dog barks into English, and another about his old next door neighbor who built parade floats in his backyard for no apparent reason. She chimes in every now and again to offer lemonade or a quick rest, but after awhile she musters up the nerve to ask him about the war.

"LeRoy, you fought in the great war, correct?" she asks.

"Buffalo soldiers," he confirms.

"Were you afraid?" she asks carefully.

"It came and went," he says quietly, more pain in his voice than in his words. As much as he loved to tell stories he never really got into the war and she usually doesn't push it. "Why do you ask?"

"Because..." she starts, she hasn't told him yet, she's not really sure why, but now seems right. "Finn is enlisting."

At that he stabs his shovel into the ground, and gives her a serious look as he wipes the sweat from his brow. "You okay?"

She shakes her head. "I think that's why I've been feeling so miserable today, it's like my mind is attacking my body," she says. "Finn doesn't seem scared at all, I know That should make me feel better but it doesn't."

"Are you sure that's the only thing troubling you?" he says, concerned, and she thinks she must look terrible judging by the look on his face right now, she certainly feels terrible, her brow is beginning to sweat more than the mild spring weather would usually warrant and her stomach hurts, really hurts, a stabbing sort of pain that must be more than just anxiety, and she can't answer LeRoy's question before she rushes inside the house to find the nearest toilet. She retches powerfully, spilling the bile into the bowl with a sickening wet sound, and when her stomach is finally empty she collapses against the wall.

"Rachel, Honey," her father says, knocking on the bathroom door after awhile. "LeRoy says you're sick, are you alright?"

"I'm alright," she chokes out. "Just give me a minute."

I certainly hope I'm alright, she thinks silently to herself.

**I'm thinking the first two chapters should have been combined into one (I think I'm a bit of an impatient writer) but I won't be George Lucasing this one this time, I know I've gotten a bit of a reputation for that. anyway, stay tuned folks!**


	4. Rachel In Trouble

**And once again I must apologize for taking forever to update, but at least this chapter isn't as short as the others. Also, premiere tomorrow! I for one am excited, but not nearly as excited as I will be for Cory Monteith's return in the fourth episode.**

She paces the floor frantically, the phone clasped tightly to her ear. She can't tell her parents, she just can't, not yet. She knows that she'll have to tell them eventually, but how is a completely different animal. She needs a friend, someone who won't flip their lid at the impossible news, someone who will be supportive and understanding, someone who won't insist that she's ruined her life. She knows that's all her parents are going to think when she tells them, and the truth is she doesn't need to hear it as afraid as she is already. It's not as if she never wanted to have children, she's always wanted children and for nearly the past three years she's wanted Finn's children. But not now, it couldn't possibly be now, not at sixteen, not with a future on the stage and a fiancé bound for the army, and oh god Finn, how would she possibly tell Finn? She can't worry about that now, she doesn't even know for sure if she is pregnant, just that she hasn't been able to stop throwing up for days, and that she cries at the drop of the hat and suddenly can't stand the smell of roses and that her belly is ever so slightly rounder than normal, and that a diaphragm sometimes fails and… and she has to talk to Tina.

She picks up after the fourth ring and all Rachel can manage to do is cry out hysterically that she needs her to come over immediately. She knows she will, Tina Cohen-Chang may be Rachel's only real female friend but she's a loyal one, as well as the only other girl her age she knows for sure isn't still a virgin and hasn't been for some time, so she probably knows her way around a pregnancy scare.

"Hold on Rachel, I'll be right there," Tina assures the crying girl. "Can you hold on?"

She responds with another choked sob that resembles enough of a yes for Tina to feel comfortable hanging up the phone.

As soon as Tina reaches Rachel's house and rushes up to her room she greets her friend with a panicked hug and all Tina can really do is rub her back comfortingly and wait for Rachel to be able to form words.

"What's wrong? Tell me Rachel," Tina says in a soothing voice.

"Oh Tina, I've ruined everything, everything's ruined."

"Why? Talk to me," she insists.

Finally Rachel breaks the hug, preparing to speak. "Tina, I think I'm pregnant."

Tina's face is about what Rachel expects, and the sobbing returns.

"Okay Rachel, you need to calm down, sit," Tina says, leading her to the bed to sit down. "Do you know for sure?"

"No," Rachel says, shaking her head. "But I don't know what else it could be."

"Well you have to see a doctor," Tina insists.

"That means I would have to tell my parents, and I just can't Tina," Rachel protests.

"You would have to tell them anyway," Tina argues, and Rachel knows that she's right. "What about Finn, does Finn know?"

"I haven't told anyone," Rachel admits. "I don't know how. Something like this isn't supposed to happen to girls like me, I'm supposed to go to college. I'm supposed to be on Broadway, how can I do any of that now?"

"Even if you are pregnant, you can still do all of those things, your parents will help you."

"They won't want to have anything to do with me after this. They already hate me being with Finn, if they find out I'm with child… _his_ child, they're going to go ballistic."

Rachel can tell by the pensive look on Tina's face that her fears aren't exactly unwarranted, still she presses on. "What about Finn? You still have Finn."

Just the sound of his name brings Rachel an instant sense of calm and she smiles a little through her tears, but the smile is short lived as she remembers.

"Finn's joined up Tina," Rachel says miserably. "He's going to war and he won't be back for years, I don't have anyone."

"That's not true," Tina says forcefully. "People care about you Rachel, they want to see you do well, baby or no baby."

"They want to see me do well because they can't imagine me ever making a mistake, especially not one of this magnitude, nobody is ever going to look at me the same way after this."

She can tell that Tina is running out of comforting words, and Rachel really doesn't mean to make her feel like she isn't helping, just her being here is helping.

"What about the Hummels? They took Finn in, I'm sure that they would help you too."

"I couldn't impose on them," Rachel says, shaking her head, but at that she knits her brow in contemplation, getting a sudden idea, one she can't believe she didn't think of before. "But there is my aunt April, my mom's half-sister," she explains.

"From New York?" Tina says. "Doesn't everyone in your family hate her?"

"It's the reason I've never went to visit her, my parents never let me," Rachel explains, pulling herself together. "They won't even tell me her address, they're convinced New York is such a vast city I'll never run into her while I'm at school there, but if I can find her, maybe she'll help me. She got pregnant young too, she's bound to understand."

"Rachel, don't you think you're getting a little ahead of yourself? I mean, you don't even know how your parents are going to react."

"I've known my parents for 16 years Tina," Rachel replies. "I know exactly how they'll react."

If only that were true.

* * *

Standing in front of her parents she knows she should have told Finn first, he would have stood by her side, squeezing her hand, reassuring them of how much he loves her, but every time she tried to call or visit him she lost her nerve completely. There was already so much on Finn's shoulders, he was shipping out in less than a month, if he wasn't already beside himself with fear certainly he would be after she told him. Still, if anything would help her handle the heartbroken look on her parents faces right now it would be him. The confession seemed to have taken a lifetime, yet somehow when she finally got the words out it seemed too soon, they didn't say a word to her as they dragged her by the arm to the doctor's office, praying silently that her instincts were wrong, that she simply had fallen ill, they prayed that she would come away from this without a baby but scared straight all the same, but when the doctors uttered those dreaded words they all knew that her life would be forever changed and there was no going back. Now as she stands here, not knowing what to say or what to do, she just hopes to god she hasn't lost them. In spite of everything, how little they see eye to eye, she loves them dearly.

"I always knew that that boy was trouble," Hiram fumes as he paces back and forth and Shelby just stands there.

"This wasn't Finn's fault daddy, he didn't do anything wrong," Rachel protests.

"Don't you dare," Hiram spits. "Don't you dare try to defend him."

"How long has this been going on Rachel?" Shelby says as calmly as she can manage. "How long has my little girl been…" she can't even finish her sentence.

"Long enough," Rachel says simply. "Listen, if it means anything I want you to know that Finn has never been anything but patient and respectful of me, he's never pressured me to do anything that I didn't want, if anything I'm the one who—

"Oh my god!" Shelby says, cutting her off. "Where did we go wrong Hiram?"

"You were supposed to be smarter than this Rachel," Hiram says, still angry, making her wilt under his furious gaze.

"I made a mistake," Rachel says tearfully. "I'm not perfect daddy, I never claimed to be, but I need you right now, I need your help, Finn's leaving and I can't do this alone."

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you decided to give it away to that trash," Shelby says spitefully, and Rachel knows that she needs to stay on their good side right now, but she can't control the anger that suddenly consumes her.

"Finn is not trash mother!" She cries, raising her voice, stomping her foot, her fists clenched tight at her side.

"Don't talk to your mother like that," Hiram says firmly.

"I just don't understand, why can't you accept the fact that we love each other?" Rachel says miserably.

"Because you're sixteen, you don't know what real love is," Shelby replies. "You're too young to understand that sort of thing and you're certainly too young to bring a child into this world Rachel."

"How can you say I don't know what love is?" Rachel argues. "I love _you_ don't I?"

"That's different," Shelby protests.

"How?"

"It just is!" she snaps. "Now you're not about to lecture me about this, you're the one who ruined your life and broke our hearts."

Rachel winces at her mother's harsh words, and she can tell by the tears beading in her eyes that she means them. But she's thought it out, it doesn't have to be this way. A baby is going to make everything harder, she's not naïve enough to think otherwise, but if anyone can have a baby and still go after her dreams it was her, if anything she had even more of an incentive to succeed, she wasn't just living for herself anymore, she had to do everything in her power to give her child a good life, and she would, if only she could make them understand, she needed them to help make all of that possible, but they looked at her so coldly now, like she wasn't their little girl anymore, like she truly was alone.

"Daddy, mother, please," she cries. "Please don't turn your backs on me now, I promise you I'll do everything I can to make this work, I will, I won't fail you and I won't fail my baby, I promise you that."

"Don't tell me you're actually considering raising this child?" Shelby says, and at the words Rachel's hand instinctively reaches her stomach, of course she would raise her child, it was hers and Finn's and nobody else's, anything else was unfathomable to Rachel.

"What are you saying?" Rachel says quietly.

At that her parents exchange glances, and nod in some sort of understanding.

"We're going to take care of this Rachel," Shelby says, and Rachel swallows hard and backs up a little. "There's a place for you that will provide a safe, nurturing environment during your… situation."

"You mean like a convent?" Rachel says, her voice rising in pitch with anxiety.

"St. McKinley's School for Girls in Portland Oregon," Shelby continues. "It's a Christian boarding school for troubled young women. It's where my sister went to have her baby, after she was born they found a good home for it and when April came back nobody was any the wiser. They have a summer program, it's the perfect solution."

"But we're Jewish," Rachel says, not certain why that's the first objection that comes to mind.

"They make exceptions for special cases," Shelby explains.

"You can't send me there," Rachel protests tearfully. "I have rights, you can't just send me away."

"We're your parents Rachel," Hiram says. "It's our job to do what's best for you, and having a child at your age isn't what's best for you."

"But hiding me away like I'm some sort of dirty secret is?' Rachel says, a bit of panic in her voice.

"This isn't about us," Hiram says. "We just want you to have a chance at a bright, happy future."

She can't believe what she's hearing, she'd heard the stories about aunt April, about how her family sent her away to have her baby at fifteen, and how her relationship with the family never truly recovered after that. Why would they force upon her the same fate that had befell the family pariah so many years ago? Unless their plan for her was the same as that of April's parents, to wash their hands of her completely. She was a ruined woman and they no longer wanted anything to do with her, she knew that they would be furious, maybe even disown her for a while, but she never expected this.

"Please," Rachel cries desperately. "I'll do anything, just please don't send me there."

"We really do think it's the best choice sweetheart," Hiram says, and she can tell that he feels guilty, but not enough to change his mind about this.

"It's settled then. We can have you one the first train tomorrow morning," Shelby says.

"What?" Rachel says, shocked. "But you can't."

"School is over, so you won't miss anything important, no point in delaying the inevitable," Shelby assures her.

"But why so soon? I'm not even showing," Rachel protests, her voice shaky with barely contained sobs. "Why does it have to be tomorrow?" She repeats, but even though they remain silent it dawns on her, they don't want Finn to know anything about this.

"I need more time," Rachel argues. "I have to tell Finn, he doesn't know, I have to tell him."

"Finn has enough obligations to meet Rachel," Hiram says. "He wouldn't want this on his shoulders."

"He has a right to know that he's going to be a father," She protests further.

"He's not going to be this child's father Rachel," Shelby insists. "A nice stable man in a good marriage who is truly ready to deal with the hardship of raising a child will be the father of this baby."

"So that's it?" Rachel says. "I get no say in this at all?"

"You asked for our help Rachel," Hiram replies. "This is how we're going to help you. You get upstairs and pack your things, you're leaving tomorrow."

They argue for what feels like a lifetime, argue until she has nothing left inside of her. When she finally retreats to her room she finds herself wanting to see Finn more than she ever thought possible. She tries to sneak out that night, but Hiram keeps watch all night long, and soon all she can do is lie down and cry herself to sleep.

* * *

He hadn't heard from her since the ceremony, and even then she seemed a bit distant, it's not like her to avoid him like this. To be honest he's worried about her, he knows she was feeling a bit under the weather the last time they spoke, she told him how proud she was of him and how handsome he looked in his cap and gown, she said all of the right things, but she still seemed off, he didn't think it was anything serious, at least he didn't at the time. Could she still be sick after so many days? He has to find out for himself, he'll go to her house after work, if she's sick he'll bring her soup and maybe sing for her, she always tells him his singing makes her feel better. She said she needed to be alone and that she'd call when she was feeling better, but it's been long enough.

He heads to the Berry's house as soon as he wakes up, it's Saturday, but the Berry's were early risers by nature, so he doesn't fear waking them at 9:30, and when he gets there LeRoy is already cutting the grass.

"LeRoy?" Finn yells over the sound of the mower, and at that the older man cuts it off and looks Finn's way. "Have you seen Rachel lately? Is she alright?"

Finn's not sure why, but LeRoy's expression darkens, as if he knows something is wrong, and Finn swallows hard. "Is she okay?" he repeats. "Is she home?"

"Finn, you shouldn't be here," LeRoy responds cryptically.

"Why, what's going on?" Finn says worriedly. "If Rachel's sick I want to see her, I don't care if she wants to be alone."

He looks behind him, as if he's afraid he's being watched, and once again Finn gets a sinking feeling that something is very wrong.

"I'm guessing she thought you might come by," LeRoy says quietly, "She left an envelope for me in the bushes, there were two notes in it, one for me and one to give to you."

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a slip of paper for Finn.

"Don't read it here cracker boy," LeRoy says sharply as Finn starts to open it. "You have to go."

"Why?" Finn protests. "Why can't I see my girlfriend?"

"Because she's gone Finn," as Finn hears her father's voice from the front stoop he shoves the paper in his pocket.

"Mr. Berry, where's Rachel?" Finn asks, his voice more timid than he'd like it to sound. "Is she sick?"

"Rachel's somewhere where you can't find her," Mr. Berry explains. "She's none of your concern anymore."

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Finn says, raising his voice. "Where is she?"

"There are only two things you need to know, Rachel is perfectly healthy and you're never to see her again." Mr. Berry continues, clearly unwilling to give him any details. "Go home Finn."

"I'm not leaving until you tell me where she is," Finn yells louder.

"If you don't leave the police will be contacted," Hiram says, and Finn doesn't understand what's happening, he knows that Mr. Berry has never been his biggest fan but he's never been so openly hostile toward him before, what could have possibly happened in the two days since he last saw Rachel?

"Mr. Berry, please," Finn says, trying to keep his voice calm even as he slowly unravels inside. "Please just tell me what happened, what did I do? Is Rachel cross with me or something?"

"My husband told you to leave our property," Shelby says as she joins Hiram on the porch.

At that LeRoy turns to him and whispers. "You're not going to solve anything this way Finn, she's not here, you better get on home."

He remembers the letter in his pocket and he knows that LeRoy's right, they aren't going to tell him where Rachel is, but the letter might have the answers he needs.

"I'm going to leave with this," Finn starts. "I love your daughter, more than anything, and I would never do anything to cause her any pain. If I've given either of you the wrong impression then I sincerely apologize."

He gives LeRoy one last appreciative look before turning away, and as soon as he's out of the Berrys' view he opens the letter and begins to read Rachel's familiar neat script marred only by a few droplets on the paper that he sincerely hopes aren't tears.

_Dearest Finn,_

_I'm in trouble sweetheart, serious trouble, and I know I should have told you, I was going to tell you but I just didn't know how with everything you're up against. I suppose now is the only option I have left, for I am being sent away for the next six months and you won't be able to reach me. I am afraid that the reason I have been so distant lately is because I am pregnant with your child…_

He drops the letter at the words, his head screaming with so many questions and worries. She's pregnant, Rachel, the love of his life, is pregnant, and her parents sent her away before she could tell him. Good Christ she must be so scared and alone and he can't be with her, he can't hold her and tell her that everything is going to be okay, that he's here for her no matter what, he can't do any of that. All he can do is keep reading because right now it's the only link he has to her. He breathes deep and bends down to pick up the letter.

_…I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me for keeping this from you, and know that I'm alright. I'm going to Portland Oregon, there is a school there for girls in trouble, girls like me. It's Called St. McKinley's. I will have my baby there and they will find a good home for him or her. I don't want to go there Finn, I don't want our child growing up never knowing us, never knowing how much we loved it, because I know you Finn and I know you already love it as much as I do…_

"I do," he thinks silently to himself. It's crazy, and he doesn't understand it, but he does, he loves their baby with all of his heart. He thinks he always has. He continues to read, even though the tears blurring his vision makes it hard.

_… I know you spent your whole life never knowing your parents and how hard that was for you, and although you came into your own splendidly and have made me proud in ways I can't describe, I sometimes can't help but wish that things could have been different for you. But perhaps this is for the best, perhaps whoever our little girl or boy goes to will be the greatest parents anyone can ever ask for. I need something positive to think of right now, so I choose to think of that, and you, about how much I love you. I will miss you terribly Finn Hudson, but I know that you will be safe and that we will see each other again. Be brave my love, and think of me, because you can be certain that I'll be thinking of you._

_Always,_

_Rachel Berry._

He feels like a madman as he finishes the letter and immediately rushes back to the Hummel's, the chaotic thoughts still screaming in his mind. He's not sure what he's going to accomplish, but he has to do something, he can't let this happen, he can't let her go through this without him. He finds Kurt in his room, enjoying his Saturday with a book and a record, and he doesn't hesitate before abruptly marching in and yanking the needle away from the record.

"Finn!" Kurt complains. "Have you completely lost your marbles?"

"I need the keys to your car," Finn says frantically.

"Finn, what's the matter? You look… disturbed."

"I just need your keys," Finn insists, his voice breaking.

"Why, where could you possibly be going?"

And he knows he has to give Kurt something if he expects him to cooperate, so he decides on the truth.

"I'm going to Oregon."

**I hate making Rachel's parents so awful in this, I actually like both of them in the show, or Hiram anyway, Shelby I can take or leave, but the plot kind of doesn't work otherwise. Just remember that nobody in this story is beyond redemption. Anyway, Stay tuned folks!**


	5. The Wicked Ones

**I know, I know**

"What do you mean you're going to Oregon? What in god's name is in Oregon?" Kurt says, closing his book and getting up from his bed.

"Rachel," Finn says simply as he paces the floor, his voice shaky, and all Kurt can do is look on in concern as his friend unravels. "Or she's gonna be. Her parents sent her away before I could even talk to her, this morning I think. Or maybe yesterday."

"What?" Kurt says incredulously. "Why would they do that?"

Finn finally stops pacing and faces Kurt, his expression dark, he isn't sure how to explain this to him, he isn't even sure if he understands it himself. Rachel is pregnant, he's the father, and life as he knows it will be forever changed, but he doesn't have the time to worry about things like how this is going to turn his whole life upside down, right now all that matters is finding Rachel.

"She's pregnant," Finn finally says, and Kurt's face is about what he expects, he smirks a little at first as if it's some sort of joke, but when Finn's face remains serious Kurt's smile is replaced with a look of pure shock.

"You're pulling my leg," Kurt says, his voice rising in pitch with worry.

"Why would I lie about something like this?" Finn says, a bit annoyed, and Kurt who is never at a loss for words remains silent, taking time to process the news. "She must've told them last night," Finn continues. "They probably wanted to make sure I didn't find out but she knew I would come looking for her, she left this with LeRoy."

He reaches into his pocket and hands the note to Kurt, and Finn stands there in silence, rubbing his forehead in frustration as Kurt reads.

"Oh my stars," Kurt says quietly as he finishes. "How did this happen? I thought you were being careful."

"Not careful enough I guess," Finn breathes. "But I can't worry about what's already happened. I have to find her Kurt, she needs me. She's always taken care of me and now she needs me to take care of her. I have to find her."

"So you expect me to just fork over my keys and let you drive all the way across the country by yourself?"

"I expect you to be a friend right now," Finn says, his voice calm even though on the inside he's anything but."

"I am your friend, in fact I'm the best one you've got, and that's why I can't in good conscience let you do this by yourself, I'm coming with you." At that he heads for his closet and grabs a suitcase without awaiting any protest from Finn.

"Wait just a second Kurt, you can't come," Finn says.

"Give me one good reason why not?" Kurt replies, continuing to pack. "With two behind the wheel we can drive in shifts, straight shot to Oregon, no stops."

Finn knits his brow in contemplation, thinking it really does sound like the best option. "What about your parents? They're not going to just let you leave the state at the drop of the hat."

"But they'll let me loan my car to you to do the same thing?" Kurt reasons. "I'm eighteen Finn, they trust me. It'll be fine, I promise. Now go pack."

* * *

She doesn't say goodbye, she lets them hug her and wish her luck and remind her that she'll thank them for this one day, but she doesn't hug them back, she doesn't say goodbye, she doesn't say a word. She's furious with them of course, but it's more than that. It feels as if she's outside her own body, like none of this is real and she can't react to anything happening to her. But once the train takes off it finally dawns on her. She's leaving and she won't see Finn again for years, and he'll never meet their child, she keeps trying to tell herself that it's better this way, they aren't ready for something like this, they're far too young, but somehow in spite of all of the reassurances she tries to give herself the tears come anyway. They start out as loud, angry desperate sobs that make her throat hurt and her eyes burn until they finally quiet and she manages to cry herself into a fitful sleep full of troubled dreams. The only thing that calms her down enough to fall asleep peacefully are her thoughts of Finn.

_It had been a week since Finn's birthday, and he'd slept in the tree house every night since, and she found it was easy to make time to go check on him at night. She worried about him, about how alone he was, but she didn't pressure him to talk about his past or what brought him to Lima, she figured he would when he was ready, and she knew that the more he trusted her the more he would share and the more he shared the more she could help him. He assured her that she had done more than enough, but nothing about helping Finn felt selfless, she had never felt this way about a boy before and spending so much time with felt like it was just as much for her benefit as his. _

_Although LeRoy was considerably better he agreed to give the reins to Finn once more just to be on the safe side, and it was nice visiting with him in the daytime, her parents none the wiser. And she had to admit that she enjoyed watching him work, she liked the way he moved and the subtle flex of his muscles, and the way he sang as he pushed the mower along, she could only hear him a little over the noise, but she could tell he had a voice, if only by the expression of joy that reached his features when he sang. She so wished she could hear him._

"_Finn?" she called to him as he turned off the mower and prepared to switch to the backyard._

"_Yeah?" he replied, squinting a little as he looked up at her._

"_Do you ever sing when people can hear you?" his face went a little red at the question and he scratched the back of his head nervously. "I hoped you didn't notice that."_

"_Don't be embarrassed," she reassured him. "As you know, singing is my favorite thing in the whole world."_

_He smiled his warm dimpled smile at her and she couldn't help but blush a little and tuck her hair behind her ear. "I'll bet you sing real pretty," He said, making her blush even more. "I'd like to hear you sometime."_

"_You will," she promised. "I've been thinking of the perfect song to sing for you all week long. But if I sing it for you have to promise me something."_

"_Oh boy, here goes," he said nervously. "Alright, what's the promise?"_

"_You have to sing for me too," she replies._

"_I thought that might be it," he sighs. "Okay, but I'm warning you now I'm not very good."_

"_Oh nonsense," she says dismissively. "Okay, me first then you."_

_He smiled that dimpled smile she loved so much as she stood to sing, but once she started his smile faded into a look of pure shock and awe, a look she never got tired of no matter how many times she sang for people._

_**I only know what I know  
The passing years will show  
You've kept my love so young, so new**_

_**And time after time, you'll hear me say  
That I'm so lucky to be loving you**_

"_Holy Moses," He said breathlessly as she finished, clearly amazed. "I think I probably should have gone first."_

"_Stop being modest, you'll be absolutely fantastic, I just know it," she protests. "Come on Finn, I'm all ears."_

_She smiled wide in anticipation as he cleared his throat and stood up straight, looking so charming with his hair so slightly askew and his shirt half untucked. And as he began to sing one of her favorite songs she was instantly floored by his deep, soulful voice._

_**There was a boy  
A very strange enchanted boy  
They say he wandered very far  
Very far, over land and sea**_

_**A little shy and sad of eye  
But very wise was he…**_

_She didn't think it was possible for her smile to get any wider, but it did as he closed his eyes, completely absorbed in the song, and she wasn't sure what came over her, but she got up from the porch then and walked up to him so slowly and carefully he didn't hear her moving as he continued singing._

_**And then one day, a magic day  
He passed me way, and while we spoke  
Of many things, fools and kings  
This he said to me**_

_**The greatest thing, you'll ever learn  
Is just to love and be loved in ret-**_

_As she pressed her lips to his, sorry to quiet his lovely song but not able to resist, he stiffened a little, clearly not expecting it, but before long his lips softened under hers and his hand came up to touch her hair. She'd never kissed a boy before, she'd heard that boys' lips were rough and tasted like onions, but his lips were pillow soft and tasted like ice cream. The kiss only lasted a moment, but it was the sweetest moment she'd ever experienced, up until then at least._

"_I think you have the most beautiful voice in the whole wide world," she said sincerely as she broke the soft kiss._

"_Thanks but it's really not so great," he said sheepishly. "Not like you."_

"_It is Finn," she insisted. "Because it's yours."_

_And at that she was the one taken by surprise as he leaned in and captured her lips in another kiss, sweet and soft and unfortunately quick, as if he was somehow still nervous to kiss her, but she couldn't help wanting to kiss him more, and he didn't fight her as she grabbed his shoulders and pulled him down for another._

"_I have to say Rachel," he said, his voice soft as she parted from him again. "I think you're really swell, and I think you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen, and the nicest."_

"_I'm quite fond of you too Finn," she said, giggling a little, her hands still on his shoulders. But before she could lean close enough to kiss him again the voice that never failed to chill her to her core sounded from inside._

"_Rachel, darling it's time for lunch, come inside," Shelby cried._

"_I have to go," Rachel pouted a little, and left him with another quick peck on his soft lips before turning to go inside._

When she wakes she feels as if she hasn't gotten a wink of sleep at all, but she knows she must have been out for quite awhile because the train has come to a stop. She rubs her eyes and glances out the window. She knows that a taxi will be waiting to take her to the school. She swallows hard and stands, if she could she would stay on the train, hide somewhere until it took off in the opposite direction back to Ohio, but she knows she has to face her new reality some time.

It's a large building, bigger than she expected, built from gray cobblestones and covered in vines and surrounded by tall trees, and she can't help but think it's rather pretty for a glorified prison. The cabbie helps her to haul her luggage inside where she's scheduled to meet with the headmistress. She spots her immediately, a tall intimidating looking woman with hard features, cold blue eyes and fair hair cropped short.

"Well, well, well you must be Rachel Berry," the tall headmistress says in a tone that almost sounds amused. "You certainly don't look like a shameless trollop." Rachel remains silent at the headmistress's blunt statement as she takes in her surroundings, it looks more like a house than a school, with clush carpeted floors, framed photos decorating the wood paneled walls and antique furniture strategically placed around the front den, but in spite of the homey touches there is still something inexplicably cold and uninviting about the place.

"Your parents told me about you, this boy of yours must be something pretty special to throw away such a bright future over."

"He is," she finally snaps. "And I haven't thrown away anything, we're going to be just fine."

"This one's got spirit," She says to no one in particular. "And you are right, with what your parents are paying me to keep your little embarrassment a secret I would be doing them quite a disservice if I let you ruin your life anymore than you already have. You can rest assured that your little accident will be in good hands."

She wants to scream at this woman, doesn't she know how scared she is already? Such a short time ago her life made perfect sense, now everything was thrown into complete upheaval and the people who were supposed to be helping and supporting her through all of this had only managed to make things worse. Nobody even thought to ask her what she wanted, how she felt about all of this, she was nothing but an irresponsible little tramp that needed to be dealt with, her feelings were no longer of any consequence, the only person who seemed to care how she felt was Tina and now she was on the other side of the country, along with Finn, who because of her didn't know the truth at all. She hopes silently that he got her letter, she hopes he understands why she had to leave him, and as much as she longs to see her Finn she knows that she's in this alone now. It's how it has to be.

"I'm perfectly aware what you think of me," Rachel says, trying to keep her voice strong. "I'm just some loose girl with no fear of God right? Well it isn't true. Did I choose this? No, I know that I'm far too young to even fathom the responsibilities that raising a child entails, but that doesn't change the fact that the life growing inside of me isn't some abomination."

She realizes now that she's crying, and she's a bit surprised when the headmistress takes a small step forward and a look of concern reaches her face.

"Let me show you to your room," she says quietly, clearly out of punishing words, and Rachel simply nods, wipes at her tears, and follows the woman down the hall.

"I'm headmistress Sylvester by the way," she says, "You may call me headmistress Sylvester, I know it's a mouthful but making life easier for you is of no concern to me. Now first and foremost this is a school, you will take classes like any other child your age. Seeing as we're currently on summer track your workload will mostly consist of light chores and reading, we do offer summer school here of course but considering your academic record I can't imagine there's anything you need to get caught up on. It's good to know you're not stupid, that's not often the case here."

Rachel isn't quite sure but she thinks this is Headmistress Sylvester's idea of being nice.

"This will be your room," Headmistress Sylvester says opening the door to a rather small space with three beds, two of them occupied. One by a beautiful blonde girl with a swollen belly, the kind Rachel imagines she will have before long, and the other by an equally gorgeous, exotic looking girl with long, dark hair, and Rachel can't help but notice that her stomach is flat, she must've just gotten here too, and Rachel can't help but notice that both girls look a bit frantic, and as she smells the hints of smoke in the air and sees the look of fury that reaches Headmistress Sylvester's face she can see why.

"Lopez!" Sylvester fumes. "What have I told you about smoking in this room?"

"What?" the dark haired girl says a bit nervously. "It's not like I'm the one who's with child."

"Give me the cigs Sanny before I start to rethink my policy of letting ethnics in here," Headmistress Sylvester says, anger still in her voice. At that the girl rolls her eyes and reaches into her bra, pulling out a packet of cigarettes and handing them over.

"Don't play with me Lopez," Sylvester continues, and the girl lets out a loud sigh and turns to her bed taking a carton of cigarettes from under the boxspring and handing those over too. "No leaving your room tomorrow."

"What if I have to use the bathroom?" the girl protests.

"You better make sure I don't see you," the Headmistress says. "Girls, this is Rachel Berry, she got herself pregnant back in Ohio, I expect you to give her the warmest of welcomes, I'm looking at you Santana."

Santana simply smirks as Headmistress Sylvester leaves the three girls alone.

"Well hello there," Santana says slyly. "Welcome to St. McKinley's School For Wicked Girls," Santana says extending her hand for Rachel to shake, and she does so tentatively, still not speaking.

"So, a baby huh?" She blonde says, getting up from her bed. It's probably best that you're here, when they rest of the school got word of my little problem back home they made my life a living hell. My dad didn't want anything to do with me, he wanted to kick me out altogether but my mom but my mom thought this would be a good compromise after the other cheerleaders egged our house."

"Well, I'm no stranger to public ridicule, I'm Jewish, my best friends are a Chinese girl and a negro gardener and my boyfriend doesn't have any parents, not to mention the fact that most people find me to be rather annoyingly headstrong," Rachel explains.

"Boyfriend huh?" The blonde says. "You sure about that?"

"What do you mean?"

"What did he say when he found out?" The blonde adds.

"He doesn't know," Rachel says sadly. "At least he didn't before I left."

"Well you probably don't have to worry about hearing from him again," The blonde says.

"That's not true," Rachel says defensively. "Finn loves me."

"That's what Noah said too, but boys are only really after one thing, there's not much of anything they won't say or do to get it."

"Leave her alone Quinn, It's her first day for god's sake," Santana says. "So, Rachel, tell me about this Finn, is he a dreamboat or what?"

"The dreamiest of dreamboats," Rachel says fondly. "I miss him so much already."

"Well you'll see him again after you've squeezed out his bastard and they send you back home," Santana says bluntly, but Rachel's expression darkens at the words and tears reach her eyes.

"Hey, what's the matter Kid?" Santana says, placing a hand on Rachel's shoulder.

"Oh it's nothing, it's just that, he's shipping out to Korea in three weeks, by the time I get back he'll be gone," Rachel explains sadly.

Quinn and Santana both look sympathetic at her words and in spite of Quinn's negativity and Santana's crassness she can't help but feel a little bit better that they're there, even if she doesn't want to be talking about all of this with them just yet.

"So," Rachel says, wanting to get the subject off of her for the time being. "You're not pregnant?"

"No," Santana says. "I'm a different kind of wicked."

"Santana has unnatural thoughts about other girls," Quinn explains. And Rachel can tell by Quinn's expression that she's expected to be shocked by that, but she's well aware that homosexuals exist, nobody really talks about it but there was a reason why Kurt Hummel never courted a girl.

"Just one actually," Santana says. "Unfortunately her parents found us together in a compromising position and threatened to ruin my parents if they didn't do something about me."

"Could they do that?" Rachel says.

"The Pierce's are a powerful bunch," Santana says, shrugging. "It's just as well, if it weren't Brittany it would have been something else, I'm quite the terror back home."

"Well, you seem perfectly lovely to me," Rachel says, and Santana smiles warmly at her.

"Give it time," Quinn says coolly, and Santana elbows her swiftly.

"Anyway," Santana says. "Get some sleep Berry, you're going to need it."

**Stay Tuned Folks!**


	6. Get some sleep

**Sorry to keep you waiting so long (again) but I will try my to get the updates up faster from now on in spite of my crazy work schedule and all of the social crap on my agenda this month. **

He doesn't realize how tired he is until he and Kurt start off on the road, and he finds himself nodding off against his will. He should have known, he slept so little the night before, worrying about her. He figured today would be more of the same considering that the worry is so much worse, still, sleep keeps threatening to overtake him with every mile he drives.

"Finn," Kurt says quietly. "I can take my turn early if you want."

"I'm fine," Finn insists, scrubbing a hand over his tired face.

"You're not fine," Kurt replies. "Come on, I don't mind."

Finn glances sideways at Kurt, who clearly looks concerned, and Finn knows he won't let up until he has his way, and he can't deny that he's tired as all get out, so without any further protest he pulls off to the side of the road to let Kurt take over for the next few hours.

"Listen Finn I hope you know that I support you, no matter what you and Rachel decide, okay?"

"I know you do buddy," Finn says resting his head against his palm. "I just hope she's okay."

"She is," Kurt insists. "Nothing can break that girl, but she'll be even better when you show up."

"Thanks Kurt," Finn says, smiling weakly as they continue their Journey. He wonders what Rachel is doing right now, whether she's okay or whether she's even arrived in Oregon, he's still not even sure when she left. And of course he thinks about the baby. He thinks about whether it will be a boy or a girl, or whether it will look like him or Rachel. He hopes it has Rachel's eyes, and her hair, and her smile, but maybe his height, especially if it's a boy, then he realizes that he shouldn't be thinking about any of this. The baby won't be theirs, it will be someone else's, and he probably won't even get to meet his little son or daughter, their child, but somehow he loves it more than he can possibly understand, and he'll spend the rest of his life loving that baby because it's theirs, no matter what, it's a part of them both. And it deserves better than to grow up the way he did, he just prays to whoever is up there that it won't happen, that the baby will have a chance, but the worried thoughts start to fade as his eyelids get heavier.

* * *

She's not sure when she fell asleep, probably around the time that the tears ran dry, but she still feels sleepy as she feels the bed shaking beneath her.

"Hey, you asleep Midget?" She pries one eye open to see Santana looking down at her, the only light present is from the moon and a lit cigarette and Santana is still dressed in her pajamas, so Rachel knows that it's not officially time to wake up.

"What time is it?" she says groggily, rubbing her eyes.

"It's late," Santana says, taking a seat on the corner of Rachel's bed. "Or early, depending on how you look at it. So, how're you holding up?"

"Did you wake me just to ask me that?" Rachel says, sitting up.

"Couldn't sleep," Santana says, shrugging and taking a slow drag. "Needed someone to talk to and Quinn is about as cranky as they come these days."

"I was dreaming," Rachel says. "I was Dorothy and Finn was The Scarecrow. I think it's because I'm going to miss him most of all."

"Are you sure it's not because he needs a brain?" Santana jokes, and Rachel can only smile a little.

"That sounds like something he would say," Rachel replies fondly.

Rachel watches as Santana runs her fingers through her long hair and taps the ashes off of the tip of her cigarette. There's a sadness in Santana's eyes that just seems to always be there. Rachel wonders if the same look is in her eyes.

"So," Santana starts again. "What is a girl that dreams about _The Wizard of Oz_ doing in a place like this with a bun in the oven?"

Rachel looks down, placing a hand on her belly, it's still so hard to believe that there's a little baby in there.

"This isn't something that's supposed to happen to girls like me, I know that. The world knows that." Rachel sighs. "Is it strange that I don't regret it?" she continues. "Well, I regret the way everything happened, but being with Finn that way, I don't think I could ever feel badly about that."

"That's the way I felt when I was first with Brit," Santana says. "Nothing else mattered but us for that one perfect moment."

"How long have you been here?" Rachel asks. "How long have you been away from her?"

"Four months," Santana says sadly.

"Jeepers," Rachel says in disbelief. "I've been away from Finn for less than two days and I already miss him so much it hurts."

"I know what you mean," Santana replies. "But it's better this way I think."

Rachel knits her brow in confusion, not sure if she heard Santana correctly.

"How can this… how can anything be better than being with the person you love?"

"You're a romantic," Santana says a bit condescendingly. "That's darling, really. But you'll come to realize that it's not exactly realistic."

"What do you mean?" Rachel says tentatively.

"Brittany isn't like me," Santana says, spitting the words out like they're poison. "She can fall in love with boys, she can get married, she can have children, why would I want to take any of that away from her?"

"You love her," Rachel argues. "And she loves you right?"

"She does," Santana says. "More than anybody ever has. But she deserves a chance to be normal."

"But—

"And so do you," Santana interrupts. "I know you're sad, I understand, but you, Finn and your baby will all be better off if you find a family for that kid."

"I know that's what everyone says, and I understand, but…" Rachel hesitates, trying not to cry again. "This just feels wrong, I mean what if it nobody wants it? Or what if it goes to someone terrible who hurts it? The last foster home Finn lived in before he came to Lima, they hurt him Santana, so badly that he had to run away. I don't want that for my baby."

"That sounds terrible," Santana says sincerely. "How did he end up like that?"

"His mom left him on his father's doorstep when he was a baby. He took care of him for as long as he could but when the war hit he had to go, he had to serve his country. He sent Finn to live with his grandpa and promised that he would be back for him, but he died in battle and his grandfather died the next month. So he was tossed around from foster home to foster home until one day he just couldn't take it anymore. He came to Lima because that's where his mother was from, but he never found her."

"He found you instead," Santana offers, not a question.

"We found each other," Rachel says fondly.

"What happened to him when he got to Lima?"

"He slept in my treehouse until the end of summer came, then…" Rachel says hesitating a little.

"What?" Santana says, urging her on.

"I just felt like I had to do something, but I was only a child, I needed an adult and my parents would never have let him stay. And one night when he didn't show up at the tree house I started to worry, and I snuck out on my bike…

_Lima was a safe place, nothing ever happened there. Still, riding down the street at night made her feel uneasy, she hoped she found him soon so they could go back, she hoped he wasn't in any trouble, it wasn't like him not to show up. She wouldn't go far, her parents would have a fit if they caught her, but she had to try to find him. She went by all of his usual places, the library, the school, the malt shop, but everything was closed besides the diner near Burt's Auto, it was the furthest from her house and the last place she decided to look, but the flash of blue and red lights outside of Burt's stopped her in her tracks. She wondered for a moment if she should turn around, if something serious enough to involve the police was going on at Burt's auto she wanted no part of it, but as much as she wanted to turn her bike around, she couldn't bring herself to, something told her that she needed to be there. The second she say his face in the distance, swathed in bright colored light, she knew why._

"_Finn!" she yelled without thinking, dropping her bike and running toward the police cars. "Finn! What_ happened?"

"_Nothing to see here miss, why don't you go on home, the cop said as Finn stood there sheepishly, his hands in the air. Burt was there too, his arms crossed, his face disappointed, and she wondered what could possibly be going on._

"_Finn, what happened?" she repeated, ignoring the police officer._

"_Rachel, you know this bum?" Burt said firmly, jerking his thumb in the direction of the tall, mortified looking young man._

"_He's not a bum," Rachel protested, "He's my friend."_

"_Well your friend was trying to steal from me," Burt said angrily. "I forgot to lock up the shop so I came back here and I caught him red handed."_

"_Finn, is that true?" Rachel said, noticing the way he wouldn't look her right in the eye. "Answer me right now, is it true?"_

"_I didn't mean any harm," Finn said quietly. "It was just a carburetor, he has a whole mess of them I, didn't think he'd notice that one was missing."_

"_Well that's certainly no excuse," Rachel said, raising her voice. "Why in god's name would you try to steal a carburetor from this nice man?"_

"_Can we talk alone for a second?" Finn said to the others, his hands still raised._

"_Whatever you can say to her you can say to us." The police officer said sternly._

"_I've just been a little hard up lately," Finn finally relented. "And this lady across town offered me good money to fix her car, I have all the tools, I just needed the part, and if I bought it myself I would've barely broken even. It was stupid, I know, but I was desperate. And I would have made it up to him somehow, I would have."_

"_If you needed money why didn't you tell me? You know that I'm always willing to help you. "_

"_Because the money was for you," he blurted out, clearly still embarrassed. "I just, I wanted to…"_

"_Go on, I think we all deserve an explanation," Burt said, his voice still firm._

"_I just, I saw this necklace I thought you'd really like, with this little gold star and I know how you like stars… and I know it's your birthday soon, and… I really wanted to buy it. I'm sorry, I feel like such a dope."_

_She wanted to be angry with him, beyond angry for getting himself in trouble like this, but she just couldn't bring herself to, mostly she just felt terrible for him, and touched that he wanted to do something so sweet for her, even if he chose the worst way possible._

"_Oh Finn," she sighed, a bit exasperated._

"_Rachel, how do you know this boy?" The police officer said. And she noticed the way Finn shook his head a little, silently pleading with her not to say a word about his situation._

"_I'm waiting young lady," the officer said. And she knew that there was no way to avoid it any longer, she couldn't protect him forever, no matter how much she wanted to, autumn was coming soon, it would be too cold for him to keep sleeping in her backyard, and she didn't want him running away again. He was fifteen years old, he would die if he had to keep going it alone for too much longer. By keeping his secret she was only delaying the inevitable."_

"_He lives in my treehouse," she finally said, defeated, and Finn squeezed his eyes shut in embarrassment. "He's a child, and he's homeless and he doesn't have anyone to look after him. You have to help him, please you can't send him to jail."_

"_Why should we help a criminal?" Burt protested._

"_Because he's not a criminal, he's a hard worker," Rachel said desperately. "And he knows about cars, he can help you in your shop."_

"_If what you're saying about this young man is true than we have to contact his family."_

"_I don't have a family," Finn admits. _

"_Surely a foster family—_

"_No, please I can't go back there," Finn said frantically, tears in his throat. "I'll work for you, I will, and you'll barely have to pay me anything and I won't steal, I promise. Just please, please don't send me back there."_

"_Mr. Hudson, I think you've caused this man enough trouble for the night," The police officer said. "Mr. Hummel, why don't you give Rachel here a lift home and get back to your family? I'll take care of this one."_

_The look of pure terror in Finn's eyes as the police officer escorted him to the car made her heart shatter, she was only trying to help, and she didn't know what else to do, and she hoped that Finn wouldn't hate her forever, but he looked at her one last time, and in that look all she saw through the fear and sadness was the purest love._

"_I'm sorry Rachel," Finn said miserably. "I'm so sorry." And with that he was gone._

"_They can't do this," Rachel cried as the cop car peeled off. "He's not a bad person, he's just a boy who needs help, a kind, sweet boy."_

"_But he needs a home," Burt said. "He can't live in your tree house forever."_

Somehow it didn't feel like he was talking to me when he said that," Rachel says, concluding her story. "It was more like he was pondering something in his head, and the next day I found out that he hired Finn, he gave him a job at the shop in return for a roof and three meals a day, the government made Finn his official ward, he got to go to school and everything."

"So let me see if I understand. Finn steals from Burt's shop and Burt basically adopts him?"

"I suppose Burt saw in him the same thing I did," Rachel says, shrugging.

"But that seems like all the more reason to let them find a home for your baby," Santana presses on. "Finn had a few tough breaks but in the end he found someone to take care of him, he found a family, not everyone is going to be like Finn's foster parents, there are actual good people out there who would care for your child the same way the Hummels cared for Finn."

She has to admit that Santana makes sense, besides, Finn was eight years old when he ended up in the system, a baby would surely have a much better chance at finding a loving family who would nurture it and protect it and make sure that it grew up right. And Finn didn't get to have a normal childhood, the last thing she wanted was to steal his chance at a happy, successful future.

"We took care of him," Rachel says. "Me and the Hummels, we gave him a home, the best one we could, but it was never the same, it could never undo all the pain he lived through." She trails off again, thinking about his past and his life. "I don't know, I just wish that I could talk to him," Rachel continues after a moment.

"What are you two squawking about?" Quinn says from her bed, her voice annoyed and rusty with sleep.

"I'm trying to make the elf here feel better about giving up her elf baby," Santana says drily.

"Listen to Santana Rachel," Quinn says.

"You mean you haven't even thought about keeping yours?" Rachel asks.

"There's nothing to think about," Quinn says, and Rachel can't help but notice the way her voice breaks a little.

* * *

When he wakes up he feels strangely rested, a little too rested, and he checks his watch, nearly eight hours have passed since he fell asleep, Kurt was supposed to wake him up after three.

"Kurt what the—

And he stops speaking as he notices that the person in the seat next to him is not Kurt Hummel.

"Kurt?" He says, a little scared. "Kurt!"

"I'm right here," Kurt says, placing a hand on his shoulder from the back seat, making him jump.

"Who the hell is this?" Finn says frantically, and the handsome, wavy haired young man currently driving the car turns to Finn and smiles warmly.

"Sorry, didn't mean to spook you," he says. "Kurt picked me up, I'm on my way to San Francisco."

"Blaine here is going to help us make the drive to Oregon," Kurt says to his still clearly confused friend.

"Blaine?" Finn says hesitantly.

"Blaine Anderson," Blaine says genially, offering a free hand for Finn to shake. "Nice to meet you."

**Stay tuned folks!**


	7. Acceptance

**Feels good to update, and even though it's shorter and less eventful than I'd like due to my lack of time to write, I rather like this chapter.**

He's wide awake now, not talking, just staring. He seems normal enough, young, maybe even younger than him, and friendly, and full of questions, none of which Finn feels especially comfortable answering with more than a word or two. Apparently him and Kurt got to know each other pretty well in the few hours he was out, and they talk like old friends as they make their way down the road and Finn sits quietly, listening sometimes but mostly just thinking of her. They're still hours away and he wishes more than anything that he could just be there. As mad as he is at Kurt for picking up a hitcher without telling him, he has to admit three will get them there faster than two, so he holds his tongue, for the time being anyway.

"So Finn, this girl of yours, she pretty?" Blaine asks, a simple enough question, but it comes as a surprise seeing as he gave up on trying to talk to him a while ago and turned his attention to Kurt.

"She's beautiful," Finn answers without hesitation, a small smile in his eyes. "She doesn't realize it though, I feel like I have to tell her every day."

"Wow," Blaine says. "That's the most words we've gotten out of you all day."

"He's not always so quiet," Kurt assures him. "He just has a lot on his mind."

"I'll bet," Blaine says in understanding. "Must be hard being away from her."

"Yeah," Finn says a bit sadly. "When I met her I was lost, I didn't know where I belonged. I didn't feel …safe. That's kind of how I feel now."

Kurt must notice the way his voice is breaking, and Blaine just stares forward, clearly not wanting Finn to feel too exposed in front of him, a stranger. But it's hard not to break down a little right now.

"We'll find her Finn, we will, I know it," Kurt assures him. Placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Then what?" Finn says a bit snappishly. "What's going to happen when we get there? I can't just steal her away Kurt."

"The important thing is that you get to see her," Kurt says, doing little to pull him out of his funk.

"Kurt's right, I mean I'm sure she'll be over the moon when you show up," Blaine adds.

"Enough," Finn sighs. "Enough about me, and Rachel, just talking about it makes my chest hurt. What about you what's your story?"

"I don't have a story," Blaine says unconvincingly.

"Come on, I wasn't born yesterday," Finn continues. "How old are you anyway? You don't look a day over 18."

"I'm 17 actually," he admits sheepishly.

"Why're you running away?" Finn asks.

"Who says I'm running away?" Blaine continues.

"Well you have to admit a 17 year old kid hitchhiking across the country isn't something you see every day," Kurt says. "And Finn's right, I feel like all we've done is talk about ourselves, or all I've done is talk about myself anyway, what about you? Tell me about Blaine Anderson. I mean I know you're a musician, and your sense of style is nothing if not unique, and we like all the same pictures, but what about San Francisco? What are you running away from? "

Finn's gaze goes from Blaine to Kurt then, and he recognizes that look immediately, and he can't believe that he's just now catching on. Of course Kurt would pick up this hitchhiker. They never really talked about Kurt's so to speak interests, it just wasn't the kind of thing one discussed. He didn't love his friend any less for it, worried for him sometimes maybe, about what kind of life he was going to lead, and looking at one Blaine Anderson he couldn't help but hope against hope that the handsome young hitcher might be the kindred spirit Kurt was so at a loss for in Ohio. Finn knew more than anyone what it was like to be completely alone in the world. But there's something clearly different about Blaine Anderson, about the way he moves and talks, the way he looks at Kurt, his style. It all adds up.

"I'm not running away from something as much as running toward something," Blaine explains.

"What do you hope to find?" Finn continues, knitting his brow in contemplation, hoping for some sort of sign, and the somewhat sad look in Blaine's eye is enough to provide Finn with some semblance of hope, but not as much as the word that escapes Blaine's lips next.

"Acceptance," Blaine answers, and in spite of everything, a smile reaches Finn's lips.

"You know, Kurt likes men too," Finn offers, and Kurt's eyes go immediately wide at Finn's sudden declaration, and Blaine simply looks uncomfortable, but Kurt knows that he'll thank him one day.

"_Finn_," Kurt seethes.

"What?" Finn says, shrugging.

"That's a little inappropriate don't you think?" Kurt says.

"Besides, what makes you think I like men?" Blaine says, shifting his eyes a little.

"Look, it's okay," Finn assures them. "I mean, I know some people don't accept gays but I'm not like that."

"I actually had a girlfriend back home, Kitty" Blaine says and Finn can't help but notice that Kurt looks a little disappointed.

"Rachel's dad is married but he's always staring at the gardener when he works in a tank shirt."

"Oh my god I can't believe you noticed that," Kurt says, surprised.

"I notice more than you think," Finn says. "People think I'm dumb but I'm pretty good at figuring stuff like that out."

There's silence after that, and Blaine continues to drive, staring forward, and Finn wonders if he may have jumped the gun.

"When I told Kitty she said I was full of sin, that I needed to be fixed," Blaine explains in defeat after a few silent moments. "She told everyone, my friends, my family. Next thing you know I was a stranger in my own home, a pariah. I just... I couldn't stay anymore after that."

"Blaine, you don't need to talk about this if it hurts too much," Kurt insists. "Finn means well but he's not exactly the most tactful of boys," he continues, narrowing his eyes at Finn.

"So, you too huh?" Blaine says, and Kurt smiles weakly and nods.

"We don't really talk about it back home, but my family knows, I think if they could change me they would if only to make my life a little easier, but they know they can't so, they do their best to love me anyway."

"They do Kurt," Finn says encouragingly.

"You're lucky," Blaine says. "The only person who really loves me in spite of it all is my brother Cooper, he's my only family out west."

"Well, at least you won't be alone out there," Kurt says

"Yeah," Blaine agrees. "At least I'm not alone."

* * *

She's never usually one to keep her head down, but she finds herself wanting nothing more than to fade into the background during her first breakfast at St. McKinley's, she has to admit that this place is different than she expected, warmer, and the girls seem nice enough, even Santana, who continues to smirk in amusement at her as she pokes at her oatmeal. She was up all night, thinking about what Quinn and Santana said. Maybe her baby really would be better off with a family that was better equipped to care for it, she just wished the idea of giving it away didn't hurt so much. She wished she could make herself look happier right now.

"You know, if you're going to be eating for two now you might want to start with the one," Santana says.

"I'm not very hungry," Rachel replies quietly.

"Please don't tell me you're still moaning over that _boy_?" Santana says, a bit of a spiteful inflection on the last word.

"It's been two days, how else am I supposed to feel?" Rachel says sadly.

"I just hope you don't end up like Ms. Lonely heart over there," Santana says pointing over at a young girl sitting by herself at one of the tables. And Rachel can't help but feel a little sad at the appearance of the young woman. She's very pretty, with pale, rosy skin, long brown hair and large blue eyes, but the look of utter depression on her face mars her beauty.

"What happened to her?" Rachel whispers over to Santana.

"What happens to any girl who loves a negro boy in the south," Santana explains. "It was either this or be branded a nigger lover the rest of her life."

"You can't use that word Santana," Rachel says under her breath. "It's wrong."

"Oh grow up," Santana says flippantly. "I don't mean anything by it, it's just what the ignorant hicks in redneck junction Missisip' called her, and do you see that scar on her forehead?"

Even from across the cafeteria, It's not hard to make out the pink half moon shaped scar on the lovely girl's forehead.

"How did she get it?" Rachel says, a little worried about what her answer will be.

"Some racist asshole threw a rock at her when she was walking home from school, and when her boyfriend tried to defend her him and his racist asshole friends beat him to within an inch of his life. After that her mother knew the only way to protect her was to move here, she got a job in the kitchen to pay her tuition, I'm pretty sure she's her only friend here. She hasn't seen her fella since."

"That poor girl," Rachel says, biting back tears.

"So you see midget, it could be worse."

"We should go talk to her," Rachel says suddenly, her eyes going wide. "She must be so alone."

"Of course she's alone," Santana says. "She's a loony bird, she never talks to anyone, the theory is that rock to the noggin made her slow."

"How would you know? She could be perfectly lovely," Rachel insists. "I'm going to go talk to her whether you join me or not." With that Rachel stands up and heads over to the lonely girl, tentatively placing one foot in front of the other.

"Okay Berry but don't come crying to me when she stabs you with a fork," Santana says a bit too loudly, prompting Rachel to turn her head and shush her quietly before continuing to the girl's table.

"Hello," Rachel says a bit timidly. "May I sit here?" the girl looks up at Rachel with big eyes, confusion behind them.

"Why are you talking to me?" she says quietly, putting her head back down.

"I heard, about your boyfriend," Rachel explains.

"Jake,"She says, her voice hard.

"You must miss him terribly," Rachel continues in spite of Marley's continued lack of eye contact.

"You don't have to talk to me," Marley says shortly. "Nobody ever does."

She sits across from her at that point, this girl clearly isn't slow, just angry, she has a right to be.

"I'm not everybody," Rachel assures her. "So, is he okay, this Jake?"

She finally looks up at her then, her face softening. And she nods swiftly. "He writes me letters sometimes, usually girls can't get letters here from anyone aside from their parents, but my mom hides them for me. I think she still feels guilty about moving us away."

"Letters, like love letters?" Rachel beams, and the smallest hint of a smile graces the girl's pretty face.

"He says in two years when we both turn 18, he's going to come to Oregon so we can get married. It's legal here."

"That's very romantic," Rachel says. But she can't help but notice that she looks unhappy.

"Sometimes I wish he didn't love me so much," She says. "I know that sounds crazy but how much easier would his life be if he fell for some nice colored girl instead? God knows he wouldn't have gotten hurt like that." Rachel can tell by the girl's face that she can't even think about it without tears gathering in her throat.

"Love isn't about what's easy," Rachel says, shrugging. And she reaches into her pocket and pulls out a photo, it's crumpled and worn from her looking at it too much, but Finn's handsome face is still clearly visible.

"This is Finn," she says, handing the girl the photo, and she smiles warmly at the sight of it.

"Dreamy," she says, handing it back.

"Nothing about our love is easy," Rachel says. "Sometimes I think my parents will never accept him. Sometimes I get the feeling he doesn't even accept himself."

"My mama loves Jake. At least I can say that much." She says. "I'm Marley by the way, Marley Rose." She continues after awhile.

"Rachel Ber—

"So, she speaks," Santana says, cutting her off. Rachel looks up at Santana then, now standing at their table. "I was starting to think you didn't have a voice."

"I gotta go," Marley says a bit frantically, and she gets up from the table then and leaves without another word.

"Santana, that was incredibly rude," Rachel spits as Santana sits down. "And you were wrong, she seems perfectly normal, perhaps you would know that if you gave her the time of day."

"So full of wisdom," Santana says condescendingly. "Anyway, finish up, we have to find Quinn."

"Why, what's wrong?" Rachel says, and she just now realizes that Quinn wasn't in her room that morning.

"She had a checkup this morning, she's always a little emotional after she sees the doctor, she tries to pretend that she's not but I'm not that stupid."

Rachel stands up then and follows behind Santana, she did notice the night before that Quinn seemed a bit down.

She didn't see the garden the day before, and she has to admit that it's quite beautiful, the grass is thick and lush and the trees somehow seem greener than in Ohio, and there is a clear pond surrounded by marble benches, one on which the heavily pregnant blonde is sitting.

"Quinn," Santana says, her voice gentler than before. "Are you alright blondie?"

They sit on either side of Quinn and Rachel notices the pensive look on her face and she wonders to herself if everyone becomes miserable after too long here.

"The baby is just fine," Quinn says, saying it as if it's a bad thing. "We're both fine."

"Well, that's good, right?" Santana says.

"Of course it is," Quinn says. "The doctor gave me the stethoscope so I could hear it. It sounded kind of like water." She's so upset, even though Rachel can tell how hard she's trying to hide it.

"Listen toots," Santana says with her idea of sweetness. "You get like this after every doctor visit, then you pretend like everything is just peachy right after, do you want to maybe talk about it this time."

"I don't want this baby," Quinn says sharply, her voice breaking. "I don't, I can't want this baby, and I can't want Noah."

"Quinn, you said it yourself, he's just a deadbeat scumbag, it's better that he's not around, right?"

"That deadbeat scumbag wanted to marry me," Quinn says abruptly. "He got a ring and everything, and I said no, I said no and I left him I asked my mom to send me here, she was going to let me stay, but I couldn't face him after I said no, I just couldn't."

Rachel can tell by Santana's face that this is the first time that she has heard any of this.

"I didn't have a choice," Quinn continues. "We wouldn't have been happy, maybe at first but it isn't enough just for us to love each other, we want different things, we're from different worlds, and deep down he knows that."

"Why did you lie?" Santana says, not judgmentally.

"I think I was lying to myself more than anyone," Quinn says, wiping her tears. "Maybe if I could convince myself that he didn't want me I wouldn't feel so crummy about rejecting him, but it doesn't work. I feel awful… I _am_ awful."

"What do you want Quinn?" Santana says. "What do you want that you can't have if you married this boy?"

"I want to go to college, a good college, and have a career and not have to rely on some man to take care of me. I don't want to be married, and neither does he, he loves me so much that he convinced himself that was what he wanted, but one day he'll realize that I was doing him a favor, he will, right?"

Santana is clearly at a loss for words, and even though Rachel doesn't know this girl she knows that she should say something.

"I don't know you, or Noah," Rachel says. "But I don't think that you're a bad person, I think you're just scared Quinn. And maybe you're right, maybe you are giving your baby a chance… maybe you're giving yourself a chance."

"That's what we've always said right?" Santana adds "It's not selfish to want a life for yourself, you made a mistake, it happens, you can't keep punishing yourself Quinn."

"I just wish this weren't so hard," Quinn says, still crying. "I wish that I didn't love it, I wish I didn't love Noah."

"I don't think any option you face will be easy," Rachel says. "We're women, and we're young and our choices are always going to be difficult Quinn."

"Especially now," Quinn agrees, wiping her tears. "Can you girls help me up? I'm tired, I need to rest."

They oblige, helping the blonde off the bench to retire to her room, and Rachel thinks to herself how lucky she truly is. She loves Finn, completely, and it's not something she's ever tried or wanted to wish away, not like Marley or Quinn, she couldn't imagine that loving Finn any less would make her life easier, in fact loving Finn made everything feel so much easier, it put her mind at ease knowing how much he cared for her, that he would do anything for her, and she for him. If only he were here.

**I promise, Finn and Rachel will be reunited very soon. Also, I suppose it's worth saying that Jake and Puck are brothers in this story (small world, I know), but since their characters are most likely only going to be mentioned here, their shared parentage probably won't come up.**


	8. The Messenger

**God Finchel is bumming me out something fierce. I really need a sweet scene to get my creative juices flowing. Seriously though, they're going to get back together, he called her his goddamned moose for eff's sake, even when they're broken up and kind of hate each other they have the swoonworthiest most quotable scenes of any other couple on glee, they just need to stop being stupid and entertain me with their wuvableness.**

The freshly cut grass tickles the back of her neck as she lays out on the lawn, watching the sun set with her two new friends at her side. After some time to herself Quinn seems to be in a better mood, if still dead tired, Rachel can only imagine, only a few weeks into her pregnancy and she already feels as if the baby is draining her completely, keeping food down is a chore and the mild heat of late spring feels like a constant assault. It helps to lay here, the smell of the grass reminds her of Finn, maybe it's why it's the only smell that doesn't make her immediately nauseous. But to tell the truth everything reminds her of him, it hurts knowing she won't see him again for years, but the only thing worse than thinking about him is not thinking about him.

"So midget, what's he like?" Santana says after a long silence.

"Who?" Rachel says, her voice a bit tired.

"You know exactly who," Santana says with a smirk. "I know he's an Orphan, and handsome but what else?"

She thinks it over a little, picturing his face and his laugh, and his gentle voice in her ear, and it makes her smile dreamily as the setting sun warms her face.

"He's the nicest boy in the whole wide world," Rachel says. "And cute as a bug's ear too…but"

"But what?" Quinn cuts in sleepily, her eyes still closed.

"He's very sad sometimes," Rachel continues. "I get the feeling he doesn't know where he belongs, and that scares him. If only he realized that no matter where he is he'll always belong with me."

"Boys are so stupid," Santana sighs.

"What about Brittany?" Rachel says. "What is she like?"

"She's a much better person than I am, that's for sure" Santana says. "She's innocent and sweet and beautiful, she's a bit off her rocker though. I just hope she finds someone who understands her the way I do."

Rachel knits her brow in contemplation then, looking over at the sad eyed girl next to her. "Do you really want that?"

Santana's initial silence at the question says it all, but she still opens her mouth to speak after a moment, uttering a thoroughly defeated "no"

"You won't be here forever Santana," Rachel says reassuringly, when you get out what's stopping you and Brittany from being together?"

"Society," Santana replies.

"Society is no match for true love," Rachel says optimistically. "It's like that girl Marley, if she truly loves her negro boyfriend than she shouldn't turn her back on him, he didn't, and he has so much more to lose."

"You're so naïve Berry," Santana says rolling her eyes. "Finn's a boy and you're a girl, and he's as white as the day is long and you may be a Jew but that's still white enough to get a pass. You don't know what it's like to love someone that you can never be with. When dream boy gets out of the army and you have that kid, everything will be a bed of roses for you two."

She knows that she should be offended by Santana trivializing them that way, but she knows that she simply doesn't know any better.

"Do you honestly think the only reason my parents sent me away is because of the baby?"

"Why else would they?"

"The baby was the final straw, they've never approved of Finn, the only reason they let us be together was because they were in so much denial about how I felt, how we felt about each other. If I told them that me and Finn wanted to get married they would never speak to me again. Your parents still love you, so does Marley's mama. Society I couldn't give a hoot about, the people I love rejecting me because of who I decide to love? I would take society rejecting me any day, god knows they already do."

"Why, because you're kind of a kook?" Santana says, without malice.

"Among other things," Rachel says, smirking. "I remember how hard it was at first, sneaking around, hiding, and when they found out I expected them to throw a fit, but the way they were, like I was just some dizzy, moon-eyed girl who didn't know any better, like I would grow out of it or something, that was even worse, because I knew that what me and Finn had was forever and the second they realized it too that would be it. And I was right."

"I'm sorry they don't understand," Santana says sympathetically. "I'm also sorry you didn't get to say goodbye to your sweetheart, that must have been rough."

"Did you get to say goodbye to Brittany?"

Santana nods sadly at the question. "It was the hardest goodbye of my life, there's no worse pain than seeing that girl cry. But I would take that any day over not being able to say goodbye at all."

"Would you two knock it off?" Quinn says, still half asleep. "You're going to make my baby sick."

"Oh come off it blondie," Santana says sharply, after what you told us today you can't pretend like you're not a sucker for the love stuff too. I always knew you were hiding something, I just didn't realize that it was being a total sap like the rest of us."

Rachel can't help but giggle a little at the glare Quinn shoots Santana at her words.

"So, tell me, what do you miss most about the boyfriend?" Santana continues, making Quinn soften a little.

"His eyes," Quinn finally says in defeat.

"That's it?" Rachel says a bit disappointedly. "Not the way he held you, or talked to you or kissed you till you lost your senses?"

"Well Noah isn't exactly the most sensitive of boys Rachel, most of the time he's a rude, classless thug, but he has the warmest hazel eyes you've ever seen, and every time he looks at me there's just so much love in those eyes. And maybe it never would have worked between us but at least I know that much, that he really cared… and you're right about the kissing me senseless thing too."

"See blondie, you're just as hopeless as we are," Santana says, nudging Quinn playfully.

"Alright ladies, it's sundown," The voice of Headmistress Sylvester booms from the back porch and the three girls sit up frantically. "Inside for dinner, now!"

They oblige, standing up to head back inside, and Santana is used to Quinn moving with a bit more struggle, but as Rachel swoons a bit upon getting up she can't help but look a bit concerned.

"Are you okay midget?" she says, putting a steadying arm around Rachel's waist.

"I'm fine," Rachel says, not entirely honestly. "I've just had a bit of trouble keeping my food down, I think it's making me weak."

"That's morning sickness for you," Quinn offers.

"You're warm too," Santana says, feeling her forehead. "You should probably turn in early after dinner."

"The very thought of eating anything is making me sick again," Rachel groans. "How am I supposed to be eating for two if the baby won't even let me eat for one?"

"You have to try," Santana persists as they enter the dining room together. The meatloaf, corn and mashed potatoes look agreeable enough as she sits, some would even call it comfort food, but the sight and smell of it still makes her the slightest bit queasy. She knows that Santana won't approve of her forgoing another meal, as she shouldn't, so she breathes deeply and cuts into the meatloaf, and places a small morsel of it into her mouth hoping to god that it won't come up this time. No such luck, three bites in and the familiar feeling returns, and she thinks she's knocked over her chair and maybe her glass as she gets up from the table and rushes to the nearest bathroom.

There's not much of it, considering how little she's actually eaten today, but it burns on the way up and makes her feel weaker than ever once she's done. She's not sure whether it's the sickness or something else, but the tears come next, and more than ever she just wishes that things could be different, that Finn could be with her right now.

"Rachel? Are you okay?" At the sound of the girl's voice she wipes her tears and tries to compose herself a little.

"Just morning sickness I suppose," Rachel says. "I don't understand, it's nighttime."

As she looks up at Marley she can't help but notice that there's clearly something on her mind too, she doesn't exactly look distraught, but she certainly seems troubled, as if she knows something that Rachel doesn't.

"Are _you_ okay?" Rachel says then, and the way Marley shifts her eyes before shutting the door behind them only makes Rachel worry more. "Is it your boyfriend?"

"No," Marley says, shaking her head. "It's _yours_."

_**Earlier that day**_

_They only ever stopped driving to get gas and switch off, but it was still so hard to believe that they had actually arrived. Part of him didn't think they would ever get there, and any other time he would have enjoyed a road trip with his best friend, and Blaine who turned out to be a great guy, maybe one day they would have to do this again when Finn's whole world wasn't turned upside down._

_The place was different than Finn expected, he wasn't quite sure what he expected but it certainly wasn't that, he wasn't even sure if it was worse or better than what he pictured in his mind, all he knew was that it was the place. It took what felt like forever to track down someone who both knew how to find it and was willing to give three strange boys the address, but when he finally did he couldn't wait another moment to go find her, not even considering the fact that it may not have been as easy as marching through the front door and whisking her away. Parents sent their girls there to keep them away from something, whether it be judgment or danger or in Rachel's case, him. It was designed to keep the outside world at bay, so he knew that nothing about getting to Rachel would be easy._

"_This is it," Kurt said as they arrived at the large, gated school. "She's only an iron gate away."_

"_I know it's only been a couple of days since I've seen her but it feels like a lifetime," Finn said anxiously. "We can't just go inside."_

"_It's like the man said, they only open the gate for prospective students," Kurt reminded him._

"_I guess I didn't really think this through," Finn said sadly. "She's right there but she still feels so far away."_

"_Hey, don't talk like that," Blaine said encouragingly, once again making Finn happy that Kurt decided to do the irresponsible thing and pick him up. "There has to be a way in."_

"_You're right, we just have to think," Finn replied. "We can't climb this thing, it's broad daylight, someone will catch us before we even get halfway up."_

"_We can try getting in from the back," Kurt suggests. Finn answered with a quick nod and the three young men started around the building, only to become more disheartened upon reaching it, the entire back of the school was completely hidden behind a tall stone wall that none of them could even come close to scaling, not even with a boost._

"_I can't do this," Finn said in frustration, kicking the wall. "I have to see her Kurt, I can't wait any longer."  
_

"_You might have to," Kurt said carefully. "At least until everyone is sleeping. We can go back to the hotel, get some sleep and just come back later, she's not going anywhere Finn."_

_It felt like a punch to the gut, traveling for a day and a half only to have to be delayed yet again, but Kurt was right, the only way they were going to get in was to try again when everyone was sleeping._

"_Alright, we'll come back," Finn said in defeat, swallowing the hard lump in his throat. _

_But he didn't make it a few steps before his breath caught and his eyes pricklde with tears, across the road he saw her, long brown hair in a familiar ponytail, skinny, a yellow sweater around her shoulders, the same as Rachel's. Her back was turned to him as she sat by herself. It couldn't be, he thought to himself, how did she even get out?_

"_Is that her?" Kurt whispered, and Finn didn't answer, he simply started across the quiet road toward her, hoping like hell that he'd find what he was looking for, as he got closer he realized her slender body was shaking with hushed sobs, and it made his heart clench, but he continued toward her, and he noticed the letter in her small hands, paler than Rachel's hands, it should have been enough, but part of him still wanted to believe that he could touch her shoulder and she would turn to face him and it would be Rachel's eyes looking into his. But when he touched her shoulder and she jumped ever so slightly and turned to face him, Finn's heart sank, never in his life had he been sadder to see a beautiful girl._

"_Oh, I'm sorry miss," he said to the sad girl sitting on the tree stump. "I thought you were someone else."_

"_It's fine," She said, sniffling and wiping her blue eyes that he desperately wished were brown ones. "I'm not supposed to be out here anyway, but having a parent on staff has its benefits."_

"_So you do go to St. McKinley's?" Finn said, perking up a little, and he couldn't help but recoil a little as she knitted her brow at him, staring._

"_I'm sorry I—_

"_I know you," The girl said, cutting him off, and suddenly the sad look on her face melted away into one of surprise, even excitement. "Oh my god, I know you, I've seen your picture."_

"_You know Rachel," He deduced, and she nodded. _

"_You came here for her didn't you?"_

"_I drove all night," Finn confirmed. "Please, you have to tell me how to find her, I checked, there's no way in."_

"_You're right, there isn't," She said sadly._

"_Finn, who is this?" Kurt said, joining him across the road with Blaine in tow._

"_I'm Marley Rose," She said. "I know Rachel, well I don't know her, but we've met."_

"_Do you know if there's any way we can see her?" Kurt said hopefully._

"_Nobody is allowed in or out," Marley responded. "The only reason I'm outside is because my mom works for the school."_

"_You have to know something," Finn said desperately. "I mean, your mom works here she must be able to get in and out of the gate."_

"_She can, and I can because I'm her daughter but if I abuse those privileges she could get fired. I'm sorry."_

"_I can't believe this," Finn said, his voice cracking. "What are we going to do?"_

"_We have to come back, like we talked about" Kurt repeated, "We made it this far."_

_Finn looked at Marley again, he could tell that she was conflicted, that she wanted to help. The challenge was getting her to budge._

"_Who was that letter from?" Finn asked after a few silent moments. "That letter you were crying over, who was it from?"_

_He could see it in her eyes at the question, it wasn't from a friend or a relative, it was a boy, a very special boy._

"_My boyfriend," she said quietly, confirming his suspicions._

"_And they just let you get letters from him?" Finn asked. "Isn't there some sort of rule against that?"_

"_Of course but, it's like I said, I get permission from my mother, she can't make those kind of decisions for other people's children."_

"_Look, I don't want to get you and your mom in trouble," Finn insisted. "But I have to talk to her, they sent her away and they didn't even tell me, she doesn't even know that I know about the baby."_

"_Look, maybe Marley here can get a message to Rachel, can you do that for us, please?" Blaine pleaded._

"_I can do that," she said after a pause. "And I'm sorry, I really wish there was something more I could do."_

"_It's okay Marley, I understand," Finn said with a weak smile. "Anyone have a pen and paper handy?"_

"Finn is here," Rachel says, shooting up from her position in front of the toilet as Marley finishes her story. "And you're just telling me now?"

"I'm sorry but I needed to make sure nobody else was around to hear, I don't exactly trust these girls."

She still can't fully process the news, Finn is here, he came for her, he drove for a day and a half just to see her and she's still not in his arms where she belongs. But the letter, it would have to be enough for now.

"The letter, do you have it?" Rachel asks frantically, and Marley nods, reaching into her sweater pocket and pulling out the folded up sheet of paper. She can't explain it but just holding it makes her feel closer to him and she can't be more thankful for the perpetually sad girl that helped her, so much that she can't help but hug her in gratitude, it takes a second for the taken aback girl to return the hug, but once she does she can't help but feel like she's made yet another friend, and if it weren't for the lack of freedom and her inability to see Finn, this place really wouldn't be so bad.

"Thank you Marley Rose," Rachel beams before breaking the hug and leaving the bathroom.

All eyes seem to be on her as she reenters the dining room, and she hopes that Headmistress Sylvester will give her a pass from dinner tonight all things considered, she really can't go one more second without reading what Finn wrote for her.

"Headmistress Sylvester, may I please go to bed early tonight? I'm not feeling well."

"Clearly," Headmistress Sylvester shoots back. "Thanks for doing that during our meal by the way. You're excused."

She can barely make it the short walk to her room before frantically unfolding the letter Finn left with Marley, and when she begins to read she can barely keep the tears at bay.

_Dear Rachel,_

_I'm so sorry about all of this, I'm so sorry that this happened to you and that I couldn't be there, but I just want you to know that I love you more than anything and that I'm here now, and I'll be here as long as it takes to see you. I'm coming back tonight, late when everyone is asleep, and I'll keep coming back until I find a way to you. Your friend Marley Rose says that there's no way out or in but I'll think of something, I promise you that. Just listen for me, when you hear my song come out to meet me, and we'll figure this thing out together. If you want to keep our baby then that's what we're going to do, I'll do whatever you want, If you want to keep it I won't let anyone take it away from us. You taught me that some things are worth fighting for, and our child is one of them. I don't know what's going to happen with the Army, or your parents or any of that, but I know that I love you, and that you are and always will be the most important thing in my life. _

_Love, Finn_

As she finishes reading she presses her trembling lips to the paper. He's here, he's going to find her and everything is going to be alright. She knows it.

**Finchel Reunion next chapter! I can't promise that it will be any faster than the others have been lately (having steady work isn't always so great) but I'll try my best. Stay Tuned Folks!**


	9. True Romantic

He keeps trying to close his eyes, to let sleep overtake him, but he can't get his mind off of Rachel long enough to even get comfortable on the motel bed. He keeps going over it in his mind, how he can possibly get her out of that place. Marley was the only person who may have been able to help, but she couldn't risk her mom's job just to help someone she didn't even know. He understood, he really did, but that didn't change the fact that he felt no closer to Rachel than he was back in Ohio.

"Finn, you need to sleep," Kurt says softly, noticing the obvious tension on Finn's face. "You don't want Rachel to see you with big bags under those eyes do you?"

"Kurt's right," Blaine offers. "We'll find a way to Rachel but for now all we can do is get some rest."

"I just can't figure out how I'm going to do this, it'll be hard enough just getting into this place, but how am I going to possibly get her out of there unnoticed?"

The immediate silence following his statement is enough to let Finn know that they didn't exactly expect that. But they had to know what he had planned some time.

"Wait Finn, slow down," Kurt says, his hands raised cautiously. "What do you mean get her out of there?"

Finn swallows hard, ready to tell Kurt everything, it wasn't like he was going to abandon him now that they reached their destination.

"I'm not going to let them take our baby, not if Rachel wants to keep it. This is her choice, nobody else's… not even mine."

"So you're just going to kidnap her?" Blaine says, perplexed. "Where are you guys going to go?"

"New York," Finn says without hesitation. "She has an aunt there who can help us with the baby while Rachel finishes school, I have some money saved up from the tire shop that will hold us over until I can get another job, and when Rachel starts getting work on the stage we'll have it even better. I've thought it through. I can take care of her, of them, I know I can."

"How can you sound so sure about this?" Kurt replies. "Just a few days ago you were certain you weren't man enough to give her a better life now all of a sudden you have it all figured out?"

"I don't have anything figured out Kurt," Finn sighs. "But I know that I love Rachel more than anything on this planet, I won't fail her, I can't."

"This is all very romantic Finn, but have you forgotten that you're property of the United States Army now?" Kurt reminds him.

He swallows hard again, of course he remembers, of course he knows he can't just back out now that he's made a commitment, but the fact is his family needs him even more than his country does right now.

"I'm not leaving Rachel alone with a baby," he says darkly.

"So you're just not going to go? You can't do that Finn, they'll arrest you," Kurt insists.

"They'll have to find me first," Finn says assuredly. "New York is a big place Kurt."

"You're insane," Kurt says, his voice high. "What are you going to do, grow a beard and change your name—

"If I have to," Finn says abruptly, cutting Kurt off, and the longer Kurt sees the determination in Finn's eyes the more convinced he becomes that Finn has made up his mind.

"Finn," Kurt says softly. "Don't take this wrong, but are you sure you're thinking about what Rachel wants?"

Finn knits his brow in contemplation, of course Kurt would ask him that, why wouldn't he? And the truth is, a chance to have the family he never had as a child was more a part of his decision than he wanted to admit, but when it came down to it, making Rachel happy was his biggest priority, he knew that now more than ever.

"If Rachel wanted to give up our baby then I wouldn't stand in her way," Finn says sadly. "But I know her Kurt, if she lets them take it she's never going to be able to forgive herself no matter what I say about it. She's going to be sad about it her whole life and I won't let that happen. I love her too much to let that happen. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, it's going to be really, really hard but I can't let that stop me."

"Gee Finn," Blaine says, raising his eyebrows. "You really do love her don't you?"

"Endlessly," Finn sighs.

* * *

She knows that she's getting on their nerves, rocking back and forth on her bed the way she is, chewing her nails, it's lights out soon and she knows they're probably both tired as all get out, but she can't sit still. She keeps listening for a sign, a voice, his voice. Hearing his voice right now would make everything okay. She knows he's in town, but somehow she still feels so far away from him.

"Would you go to bed midget?" Santana groans in frustration. "Trust me if lover boy gets in you're not going to miss him."

"How can you be so sure Santana? If he gets in and they catch him they're not going to tell me."

"If he was willing to drive all the way here to see you then he'll find a way in," Quinn says. "It's actually pretty romantic… if completely unrealistic."

Rachel stands and traipses up to Quinn's bed then, climbing onto the foot of it, and the slightly annoyed blonde sits up to face her.

"I just wanted to say, I know we haven't known each other long, but I feel like you two have become my friends, and I'm really going to miss you both." It's hard to tell but she thinks she sees a ghost of a smile on Quinn's face as she closes her eyes and falls back onto her bed.

"Get some sleep Berry," Quinn says, her voice soft.

"Are you sure about this?" Santana says. "Running away I mean?"

"This is _my_ child Santana," Rachel says, placing a hand on her belly. "I know you don't understand this—

"No," Santana says, cutting her off, a small smile on her face. "I understand. I just hope you know how hard this is going to be."

"I know," Rachel says. "But we can make this work, we love each other and we're going to love this baby more than anything else in the world."

"What about Broadway?" Santana continues. "I mean, isn't that your lifelong dream?"

"It's still my dream," Rachel says, her face falling a bit. "Who says I can't be famous and be a mother?"

"But what if you can't? What if you can't have it all?"

Rachel swallows hard at the question, she can't say she hasn't pictured it, a life with Finn and their boy or girl, without the stage, without her dreams, but she's pictured it the other way too, giving up her baby so she could have a better chance at the life she's always dreamed of, and it doesn't work either. She can't imagine giving birth to her child only to have it taken away without a hard lump forming in her throat and tears brimming in her eyes.

"I may not be able to have it all but at least I'll have what matters if we're together," Rachel says. "Just the three of us."

"But what about the Army? Finn can't just not go—

"Don't you think I know that Santana?" Rachel cries, shooting up from Quinn's bed, startling her awake yet again. "I know that everything will be easier for us if I just stay here and give my baby away but I just can't. I can't do it, I won't."

"Okay, okay… calm down midget," Santana says, getting up and softly walking toward Rachel, grabbing the smaller girl by the shoulders, rubbing her arms up and down comfortingly. "It's alright."

"She doesn't look alright," Quinn says. "Are you okay Rachel?"

Santana narrows her eyes at Rachel, her face concerned. "Quinn's right, you do look a little dizzy."

"I'm pregnant," she reminds them, but she can't deny that they're right to be concerned. She still can't keep any food down, and she feels weak and unbearably hot, and as tired as she is the anxiety over Finn won't allow her to keep her eyes shut, but she knows she'll feel better once he gets here.

"Seriously, go to bed," Santana says. "I'll listen for Finn, okay?"

Rachel nods once before returning to her bed and getting under her covers. She really didn't realize how tired she was, and once she lays down it doesn't take long for sleep to overtake her.

* * *

She wanted to help him, she wanted more than anything to help him. He just looked so sad, she recognized that look well, it was the same one Jake had on his face before she left. She had to say no. Her mother sacrificed everything to keep her safe, she couldn't just go behind her back and steal a key for Finn, but she couldn't help but wonder if maybe she wouldn't have to. Her mother was nothing if not a romantic, and goodness knows she still felt guilty about separating her from Jake, even if it was for her own good and his too. The last thing she wanted to do was to use that guilt to get what she wanted, but when it came down to it this wasn't a favor for her, it was a favor for a kind girl who reached out to her when no one else would and the boy she loved, a boy who would drive across the country just for the chance to see her. Surely they were worth the risk.

"Mama," Marley says quietly across the room. Millie is fast asleep in her small bed, she'll have to shake her awake like so many times before. She tiptoes over and places a gentle hand on her mother's shoulder, shaking her ever so gently.

"Wha-what?" Millie says groggily, as she wakes. "What's the matter Marley? What is it?"

"Mama, I need your help."

* * *

2 am comes slower than Finn would like, even the fitful sleep he managed to get in the hotel wasn't enough to keep the wait from feeling close to unbearable, but the time has come, even if he's not exactly sure if it will mean anything in the long run. The three of them are certain that nobody inside is awake right now. But they still aren't sure how they'll manage to get in without any trouble. The gate is higher than any of them can climb safely but as it gets later he can't think of any other options.

"Well, here goes," Finn exhales as he begins to mount the gate.

"God Finn, be careful," Kurt whispers in a panic as Finn continues to climb, but he doesn't even make it a quarter of the way up before losing his footing on the slick bar and landing hard on the gravel below.

"Finn!" Kurt exclaims worriedly, rushing to his friend's side.

"I'm okay," Finn assures him, even though he sounds anything but. It takes him a little longer to get back up than any of them would like, and once he's back on his feet the other boys are nothing short of shocked to see him attempt the climb again.

"Finn, you have to stop this," Kurt says. "There has to be another way."

"Really?" Finn spits in frustration. "Do you see any? Because the last time I checked nobody in this god forsaken place can help us."

"psst!"

At the sound of the sharp whisper coming from behind the gate Finn knits his brow in confusion and steps down from the gate. He wonders if he's imagining things at first, until he hears it again, plain as day.

"Psst, Finn, over here."

He looks toward the voice and a small smile reaches his lips at the sight of the girl from before, she's standing at the side of the gate with a robust, kind faced woman that he doesn't know, but he can only assume that the woman is her mother.

"Marley?" Finn says in disbelief, meeting the girl by the gate. "What are you doing here?"

"We're here to help, the older woman says." Marley told me what you did, for Rachel, and I wouldn't want you to have traveled all this way for nothing."

He thinks that tears are starting to prickle in his eyes, as much as he's learned to depend on the kindness of strangers in recent years, he never expected this, but at the same time, he can't help but dwell on Marley's words from before.

"Mrs. Rose, you don't have to do this," Finn says. "I know how much trouble you can get into."

"With the headmistress?" Mrs. Rose says with a bit of a chuckle. "She wouldn't dream of firing me, I'm the only cook in a thousand miles who can make a pot roast just the way she likes it, besides, her wing is so isolated from everyone else you can sing to your girl through a megaphone and she wouldn't be any the wiser. Just promise me you'll be careful."

"I will," Finn says as Mrs. Rose unlocks the gate, his voice breaking a bit. "You have no idea how thankful I am."

"We truly are," Kurt agrees as he and Blaine follow behind Finn.

"I'm going back to sleep, Marley you get back to bed as soon as you send these gentlemen on their way, I mean it, I don't want to have to come looking for you."

"You won't mama, I promise," Marley assures Mrs. Rose, but before she can return to bed Finn stops her in her tracks.

"Wait," Finn says, Making Mrs. Rose turn back around to face him, and without words he wraps her in a giant hug, making her take a step back a little before nervously returning it.

"Thank you," Finn says again, breaking the hug. "Really, thank you."

"You're very welcome young man." With that Mrs. Rose turns away again retiring to her room and leaving the four teenagers alone in the front yard.

"Rachel is on the second floor, her roommates know you're coming," Marley informs them as they continue around the building.

"That window, right there," Marley says, pointing up.

He swallows hard as he looks up, it's dark inside, and he can't see a face or a silhouette or anything, but he knows that she has to be up, if she isn't he hopes the sound of his voice is enough to stir her awake.

"What now?" Blaine says, breaking the silence, Finn doesn't answer as he cups his hands around his mouth and sings the familiar song.

_There was a boy  
A very strange enchanted boy  
They say he wandered very far  
Very far, over land and sea_

_A little shy and sad of eye  
But very wise was he…_

He stops singing and he thinks his heart may have skipped a few beats as the window slides open, and the most beautiful face in the world appears through the shadows. Neither of them say a word at first, they just stare at each other, as if trying to make sure they're really seeing what they think they're seeing.

"Finn," she finally says quietly, her voice choked with quiet sobs. "You came, you really came."

"Of course I came," he says, and there are tears in his voice too, because he doesn't know how to make them stop. And he can't wait another second to kiss her again, to touch her, to have some kind of concrete proof that he's really seeing her. The trellis alongside the brick wall looks easy enough to climb, definitely easier than that gate. He scales it quickly, and Rachel steps back a little to let him in through the window.

"Oh my goodness, she says, not even giving him enough time to gain sure footing in her room before she throws her arms around him and peppers frantic kisses all over his face until she finally lands on his mouth. He kisses her back and holds her close to him, feeling the way her body is shaking, and he knows she must still be so scared.

"I missed you," she sobs as he rocks her back and forth a little, his eyes squeezed shut as he holds her. "I missed you so much, I was so afraid that I would never see you again."

"Hey, look at me," he replies, breaking their embrace just enough to look her in the eyes. "That'll never happen okay? I'll always come for you, no matter what. You can count on that sweetheart."

She smiles through her tears at his declaration and closes the distance between them once again. It feels like forever since he's kissed her last.

"So, this is the famous Finn?" He breaks the kiss and looks past Rachel at the girl moving her way through the shadows toward them, another girl is by her side and he can't make out the details of either of their faces in the dark, but they're clearly Rachel's roommates.

"What are you guys going to do now?" the other girl says.

"I'll do whatever you want to do," Finn says, looking into Rachel's eyes again. "If you want to leave tonight we will, we'll go to New York and we won't look back."

"We're really going to do this?" Rachel says, her voice high. "Just give up everything?"

"I'm not giving up anything," Finn insists. "I promise you that Rachel, I want to take care of you, any way that I can, if you want to leave right now then we'll go, to hell with everything else."

She knows that she should say no, that she should stay here, where everything is safe and predictable. but looking into Finn's eyes, seeing the passion and certainty there, she knows that she can't say no.

"Okay," She says after a pause. "I'll go."

"You're really sure about this Rachel?" One of the girls says. "You know that this changes everything."

"I know Santana," Rachel replies. And she turns to hug her. "I promise I'll never forget you, you either Quinn."

"We won't forget you either," Quinn says. There is still uncertainty in her voice but Finn can tell that she won't fight her anymore on this.

"I just have to get my things," Rachel says as she goes to her closet.

"Take care of her Finn," the girl, Santana says to him too quietly for Rachel to hear.

"That's not going to be a problem," Finn insists.

"No, I mean it," Santana says darkly, and she moves in closer to him and Finn can finally make out her face in the pale moonlight spilling through the window. "Take care of her, I think she…

"What?" Finn says, concerned.

"She's been sick," Quinn says, and Finn didn't want to say anything, but he noticed how hot and clammy she felt when he went to hug her. "Just make sure you get her to a doctor as soon as you can, use a fake name if you have to, just make sure you do it."

"I will," Finn says, looking past Quinn at Rachel, still busy with packing.

"How sick is she?" Finn says a bit hesitantly after awhile, watching the labored way Rachel moves.

"Sicker than she wants to admit," Santana says. "Just be careful okay?"

"Yeah, I will be, I promise." Finn says, his voice a bit withdrawn. "Hey, Rachel, let me help you with those," he continues, meeting Rachel's side. He grabs her bags for her as she starts to dress, and although he can't see much he can see well enough to know that Santana and Quinn are right about Rachel, he needs to get her to a doctor as soon as possible.

"Hey, you okay sweetheart?" he says, placing a hand on her hair.

"I'm fine now that you're here." Rachel says with a weak smile. "I love you Finn."

"I love you too," He replies, pulling her close to him again.

"Come on," She says, breaking the embrace. "Let's go."

**I know the slow updates have been maddening, but we're only about four chapters away from our conclusion. Expect some angst along the way (it's me) but I'm thinking my next story might be a humor fic, I haven't written one of those since The Day The Music Died. **


	10. The Runaways

**A quick (ish) update? Why, It's a late Christmas miracle! Also, I apologize in advance for the angsty chapter.**

"Wait a minute, what's happening? What are you doing?" Marley seems almost panicked as Finn climbs back down the trellis, Rachel on his back, her suitcases on the ground below them. He doesn't blame her, and he feels terrible for keeping this from her, knowing what she went through to help them, but he has to get Rachel out of there, and he'll make her understand somehow.

"We have to get out of here Marley," Finn explains as they reach the ground and Rachel climbs off of his back with a bit of struggle. "I'm sorry, I know I should have told you."

"You can't just leave," Marley says, her voice still panicked "What if somebody catches you they'll kno—

Marley is unable to finish her thought as a piercing noise sounds, so loud Rachel's hands immediately go to cover her ears.

"What is that?" Rachel shouts above the noise.

"I don't know," Finn yells. "Some kind of alarm."

"It's the fire alarm," Marley says, and at that she looks up, a small smile reaching her face, and Finn looks up too, seeing what Marley is seeing, it's Santana, looking down at them, a knowing grin on her face. "It's a diversion, Sylvester's going to open the gate so we can evacuate the building. You have to go now before she catches you, once she realizes you're gone she'll assume you escaped during the commotion."

"Why didn't we think of that?" Kurt says.

"I guess Santana Lopez doesn't have the same qualms about getting kicked out as me and mom do," Marley explains. "She's a sly one."

He looks up at Santana one last time and gives her a grateful smile as he takes Rachel's hand and they move toward the gate, each of the young men carrying a suitcase. He knows there's no time to really say a proper goodbye as Marley opens the gate for them again, but Rachel leaves her with a big hug, and Finn with a grateful kiss on the cheek and a sincere thank you for her help before the four of them pile into the car and drive off into the night.

He's never known her to be this quiet before, and he wonders to himself what's wrong as Kurt drives and he sits with her in back, his arm firmly around her. Santana's words stick with him and he wonders just how sick she is. She was always such a tiny little thing, yet so strong, and seeing her like this scares him.

"Hey, you doing okay honey bear?" he says, mimicking her nickname for him and putting a weak smile on her face. She nods but it does little to quell his fears. "Well, as soon as we get to the next town we're taking you to the ER, we have to make sure everything's okay with the baby."

"He can tell that she wants to argue, but either she's too weak to protest or she too knows that something is wrong, and going to the doctor can't be avoided, either way she nods again before laying her head against his chest and closing her eyes. She'll be okay, he knows it, having a baby is hard on a woman's body, everybody knows that, he's sure that the doctor will just say that she needs some rest, that's it, and with Rachel in his arms and comforting thoughts flowing through his mind he lets sleep take him too.

_She shouldn't have been up there, he knew it, if her parents found out then he would be a dead man, but he couldn't bring himself to leave. He liked being there, after meeting Rachel, for the first time since setting foot in Lima he didn't feel so alone. He had a friend, the nicest, sweetest prettiest friend anyone could ever ask for, and all he wanted to do was spend as much time with her as he could, so they sat together in the treehouse, each reading their books and stealing glances at each other, glances and kisses, they kissed all the time now, kissed more than a fourteen and sixteen year old probably should, but whenever he kissed her it felt too right to stop. Her parents still didn't know, and since going to live with Burt he knew that they couldn't know. They were old fashioned people, traditional, and Finn was anything but, and news of his situation was all over town now, surely they knew that he wasn't the type of boy that their perfect daughter should be with. But he couldn't deny how much he truly loved her. He hadn't told her yet, he didn't know if he ever would, but he felt it with every fiber of his being, he loved Rachel Berry, and he knew it from the very moment he saw her in that library, maybe he even knew it before then._

"_Do you think I can really pass? I mean I missed so much school already," he says, flipping through his history book."_

"Of course you will Finn," Rachel assured him. "You're very smart, don't let anyone ever tell you differently."

_He loved the way she believed in him so much, so much more than anyone else ever did, more than he believed in himself really. With that look in her eye he couldn't help but smile warmly and return to his studies, determined to give her a reason to have so much faith in him._

"_Finn, I was thinking…" she said after a few silent moments, and as she paused he looked up from his book at her, noting the pensive look in her eyes._

"_What is it?" he asked cautiously._

"_I was thinking that maybe it's time."_

"_Time for what?" He asked, somewhat nervous about where this was going._

"_I think it's time to tell my parents about you."_

_He swallowed hard, he was worried that that was what it might be. Her parents barely tolerated him, he saw the way they looked at him when he came around, which was often at that point, and he knew that they at least suspected they were more than friends. Ever since it came to light that he was a minor they knew there was reason to worry about Rachel's relationship with him, but as long as they didn't know the truth for sure they could fool themselves into believing that he was simply a boy she took pity on from time to time. He wasn't sure if he wanted that to change._

"_What's there to tell?" he said, his voice a bit shaky, even they hadn't acknowledged that they were steadies at that point, they supposed it pretty much went without saying. They saw each other whenever they could, and she helped him study in her free time and they talked for hours and held hands and kissed until they ran out of breath, but he had never actually used the words boyfriend and girlfriend, but he supposed now that she was talking about telling her parents he ought to get used to those labels._

"_You know," she continued, entwining her fingers with his. "About you and I, about… about how much I love you."_

_She breathed the words in almost a whisper, and his own breath caught in his throat at the sound of them. _

"_You… you love me?" He said, gripping her hand tighter. _

"_Of course I do silly," She said, blushing and looking down at the floor. "I love you with all of my heart Finn Hudson… do you love me too?"_

_He had pictured it over and over again in his mind, how he would tell her, when he would tell her, and every time the words got lost in his own self doubt, he didn't realize that it was possible for anyone to love him, let alone someone as pure and good and beautiful as the girl sitting across from him. So he never said it, but hearing her say the words and asking if he loved her too, the most ridiculous question he could ever imagine her asking, he simply couldn't hold his feelings in any more. But he couldn't say the words, he couldn't make his mouth do anything but capture hers. He kissed her harder and deeper than he ever had before, and that was saying a lot, and he untangled his hand from hers and found her waist, pulling her close, letting her hold him tight around the neck as they kissed like grown ups kissed._

"_Finn," she gasped desperately into his mouth, holding him tighter and letting him rest his forehead against the crook of her neck, feeling his hot tears on her shoulder as he kissed her there too._

"_Are you crying honey bear?" she chuckled warmly._

"_No," he lied in a soft whisper._

"_Do you love me too?" she repeated, and he nodded firmly, still holding her._

"_Can you say it?" she continued. _

_At that he finally let her go, and looked into her big, brown eyes._

"_I love you," He finally said. "I always have."_

_And it was her who kissed him that time, cupping his face and letting his hands touch her waist again. He could have spent the rest of his life kissing her, but their amorous embrace was cut cruelly short. She was snatched away so fast he couldn't even process what was happening until he saw her father grabbing her by the shoulders, almost shaking her, fury in his eyes as he yelled._

"_Rachel Barbra Berry what in god's name do you think you're doing with this boy?" Hiram shouted. _

"_Daddy it isn't what it looks like I promise," She cried, clearly scared. He knew it was his fault, he knew it was wrong to sneak around with her like that, but he couldn't stay away, even if he wanted to. "We were just, I was—_

"_Throwing your life away?" Hiram yelled, "Is that it?"_

"_Mr. Berry I—_

"_Go home Finn, right now," Hiram barked, interrupting Finn "We'll have words later."_

"_Mr. Berry just give me a chance to explain—_

"_I'm not interested in your explanations, all I care about is keeping you away from my daughter. Go home, right now before I call the authorities."_

"_But daddy he didn't do anything wrong," Rachel protested._

"_I'm sure they can dig up something if they look hard enough," Hiram said angrily. "I'm not going to tell you again Finn."_

_She looked at Finn pleadingly, telling him with her eyes that there was nothing more to be done, at least not right then, and as much as it hurt him to leave her, he knew she was right. He could only make things worse by staying._

"_I love you," he mouthed silently before exiting the tree house, not sure if they would ever let them see her again._

"Finn!"

The sound of Rachel shrieking his name is enough to jolt him wide awake in a panic, she's doubled over, her hands clutching her stomach in pain and tears streaming from her eyes, and his heart seizes at the sight of his love in so much distress.

"What's the matter Rachel? What happened?" he says fearfully as Kurt quickly pulls off the road.

"Is she okay? Does she need to throw up or something?" Kurt says, concerned.

"I think something's wrong," she whimpers, clutching her stomach.

"We have to get her to a hospital, right now Kurt," Finn insists, and it's all Kurt needs to speed off once more.

"It's alright sweetheart, everything's going to be alright," he says, his voice tremoring more than he would like it to, he doesn't know how far along she is, but he knows it's way too soon for her to be in labor already, yet the way she's crying and shaking right now that's exactly what it seems like. He doesn't know what to do, this isn't supposed to be happening, he doesn't know exactly what's happening but he knows that it's all wrong, and he wants nothing more than to make it stop.

"Finn," she cries after awhile, her voice so scared as she lifts her small hand to look at, and he swallows hard at the sight, it's too dark to see clearly, but he sees enough and it makes his heart feel like it's dropped into his stomach. "Is— is this blood? Am I bleeding?"

"Rachel, look at me sweetheart," he says, trying to calm her down, even though he's the furthest thing from calm himself. "I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you okay? We're going to get you to a doctor and he's going to take care of you. You're going to be just fine."

"A-and the baby, is the baby going to be alright?"

He swallows hard again, because he honestly doesn't know how to answer that. He can only hold her.

"Kurt, please hurry," he cries into Rachel's hair.

"Right up ahead!" Blaine exclaims, pointing at a hospital sign, and Finn breathes a small sigh of relief, even though he knows their troubles are far from over.

He can't get out of the car fast enough as they come to a stop at the hospital, it's not hard to lift Rachel out, but it takes a lot not to stop short at the sight of the blood in the hospital lights but he can't be afraid right now, he doesn't have time to be afraid.

"I need a doctor!" Finn cries desperately as they reach the desk. "My girl, she's pregnant and I think there's something wrong with the baby, you have to help, please."

"How old is this young woman?" The nurse says, almost judgmentally at the sight of the tiny girl in his arms, and Finn would be furious if he weren't so afraid.

"She's sixteen," he answers. "Please, you have to do something."

The nurse doesn't respond as she hands Finn some forms, but he notices the subtle way she shakes her head at them. He couldn't care less what this stranger thinks about them, all he cares about right now is saving the girl he loves and his child.

The wait is almost unbearable, and Finn barely notices Kurt comfortingly rubbing his back and Blaine pacing the floor. But he's thankful for them both, even Blaine, who barely knows them but has stuck by them every step of the way, if they make it out of this alright he'll drive him to San Francisco himself.

"Finn Hudson?" he looks up at the doctor entering the waiting room, an older man with thin rimmed glasses, a bald, shiny head surrounded with a halo of thinning gray hair, and a sour disposition.

"Is she alright?" Finn says, his voice still broken.

"Ms. Berry, will be fine," The doctor says emotionlessly even as Finn exhales in relief. "We've contacted her parents, they were understandably very upset but they're on the first flight out.

He knows that he should be terrified by the idea of Rachel's parents coming, but he's still far too relieved that Rachel is going to be alright, relieved and amazed, with the way she was bleeding and crying out in pain he thought for sure that something was very wrong, but as he considers the events that brought them here he realizes that Rachel wasn't the only one to be worried about.

"What about the…" he trails off trying to find the right words. "Is our baby okay?"

Just the look on the doctor's face is enough to make Finn's heart sink immediately, but he still needs to hear the words.

"I'm afraid there was nothing we could do for the baby," The old doctor says coldly, unmoved by the tears that reach Finn's eyes, at the words. "I know it may not seem like it now but perhaps this is for that best."

"That's enough out of you," Kurt says angrily, meeting his devastated friend's side. "I'm sure you have other patients to tend to."

Kurt can tell the doctor wants to say something back, but he doesn't give him the time as he leads Finn back to the chair.

"Finn, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Blaine says comfortingly as Kurt rubs Finn's back in wide circles.

"If you need to talk I'm here," Kurt adds.

"I need to see Rachel," Finn says through choked sobs. "I just— I have to see her."

"Okay, we'll go talk to the nurse," Kurt says leading Finn up from the chair and to the front desk. It's the same nurse from before, and she doesn't seem to be any more sympathetic than she was before.

"My friend needs to see his girl, can somebody give a room number?"

"I'm sorry," The nurse says, sounding anything but sorry. "Family members only."

"But you have to make an exception," Finn says, pulling himself together a little. "I'm the only one she has here, she can't be alone right now."

"And that's why we've contacted her parents Mr. Hudson, now if you would like to wait—

"You let me in her room right now," Finn spits, cutting her off. He's clearly frustrated and angry and desperately sad, but none of it seems to make any difference. "Do you hear me? I'm not going anywhere until you let me see her."

"Mr. Hudson, I feel compelled to contact security—"

"Rachel!" He shouts down the hall, slowly losing control. "Rachel can you hear me—

"Mr Hudson!" The nurse says furiously. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"On who's authority?"

"Finn shoots his glance toward the voice. He was so upset before he didn't even notice her enter. It's a woman with striking red hair, big eyes, and a strange, small voice, but something about her tells him that the unpleasant nurse knows not to go against her.

"I'm Nurse Pillsbury, is there a problem here gentlemen?" the woman continues.

"It's being taken care of," I told this young man that visitation is for family members only," The nurse explains.

"But Mr. Hudson can certainly be considered family," Nurse Pillsbury argues. "It was your child correct?"

He winces a little at the use of the word _was_, but manages to nod firmly in response.

"I'm very sorry for your loss," She says, appearing to really mean it.

"Nurse Pillsbury this boy is not Ms. Berry's husband," The nurse protests. "Their illegitimate child hardl—

"And I fail to see how their marital status is any of your business," Nurse Pillsbury says, firmly cutting her off. "I suggest you concern yourself with more important matters, like helping the injured and sick. Mr. Hudson if you would please follow me."

"Thank you," Finn says tearfully, almost silently, and he exchanges glances with Kurt who gives him a sympathetic smile before heading back to his chair.

"As much as I can't stand that woman, she is right," Nurse Pillsbury explains. "Technically I'm not allowed to let you into Ms. Berry's room, but I was with her, that poor girl needs someone, and it's very clear that that someone is you."

"I'm truly grateful, really, you have no idea."

"Just try to stay quiet," Nurse Pillsbury explains, opening the door to Rachel's room. "They tend to avoid the unwed mothers so I doubt anyone will be coming in to check up on her anytime soon."

He takes a look inside, an even bigger lump forming in his throat at the sight of his beloved Rachel, curled up on the bed, her back facing him, so small, so silent.

"Thank you," he repeats one more time, before slowly entering the room, closing the door behind him.

"Rachel?" he says, slowly walking up to her bed, his voice quiet and shaking. "Rachel, please look at me."

"Go away," she says quietly. "I don't want you here."

"Now I know you don't mean that," he insists, even though her words hurt him.

"I do," she replies brokenly. "I don't want you seeing me this way, not after…"

She can't finish her sentence but he knows what she means to say, what she's thinking right now, she thinks in some way this is her fault, like somehow he would be upset with her when all he really wants to do is hold her.

"I'm not going anywhere sweetheart," he persists, placing a hand on her shaking shoulder. "You don't have to talk to me, you don't even have to look at me, but just know that I'm not going anywhere."

She doesn't say anything, she doesn't tell him he can stay but she doesn't ask him to go either, and her hand goes up to meet his, squeezing it lightly.

He just stands there, for god only knows how long, letting her hold his hand, and every time he tries to think of something to say the words get lost somehow, perhaps it's for the best, what could he possibly say to make it better? What could he do besides just be there?"

"You know, I started to picture my life differently these past couple of days, my future." She finally says. "I pictured a future without Broadway, without everything I worked so hard for all of my life, and it made me so sad Finn, it felt as if everything was changing and there was nothing I could do to stop it… But then, I pictured you, and me and this little baby and the life that we would have instead, and all I could really do is be thankful for everything I still had, because as much as I wanted the bright lights of the stage, I could picture my life without it."

She finally turns to face him then, and the sight of her puffy red eyes and the tears staining her perfect cheeks breaks his heart.

"But I could never picture my life without you Finn," She continues. "No matter how hard I tried I could never picture not having a family with you someday, and when I found out that day was coming so soon, I could only be afraid for a little while before I realized that everything was going to be just fine as long as we were all together… but what now Finn? What happens now?"

As she breaks down into sobs again he can't fight the need to be closer to her, to climb onto the tiny bed with her and take her into his arms, letting her cry into his shirt.

"We're still together Rachel," he insists. "And we always will be. And maybe we weren't ready to have a family yet but we will be someday, after you become a big star and I make my mark on the world, it'll all come together, I promise you that."

"No Finn, it won't," She protests. "I knew, deep down inside that something was wrong with me, that I was killing our baby somehow, I just didn't want to admit it to myself—

"Rachel don't say tha—

"But when it happened I knew," she continues miserably, cutting him off. "I'm not the girl for you, I didn't want to believe it before, but now I know, I was meant for another life, one full of success and loneliness. Even when the time comes when I'm old enough, I can never give you what you've always wanted… I can never give you a family."

"Listen to me Rachel," he says firmly, staring her right in the eyes. "_You're_ my family."

"Finn I—

"You're my family Rachel," He repeats, even more firmly. "I knew it from day one, you were it for me, and maybe there won't be children, maybe there won't be Broadway, but there will always be you and me, no matter what, do you hear me?"

"But our baby Finn…"

"I'll always love that baby," He cries, thinking about their lost child. "And as sad as I am that I'll never get to meet it, I'm so thankful that I still have you, you have to know that."

He can tell she wants to say something more, but maybe she can't find the words or she's too exhausted and sad to say them, but she doesn't speak again, she simply cries herself to sleep in Finn's arms.

Stay tuned folks (It feels wrong to end with an exclamation point after that chapter).


	11. The Words

**Last Chapter before the epilogue. Sorry it's not longer.**

_Time after time, you'll hear me say  
That I'm so lucky to be loving you__  
__Time after time, I tell myself  
That I'm so lucky to be loving you  
So lucky to be the one you run to see  
In the evening when the day is through__  
__  
I only know what I know  
The passing years will show  
You've kept my love so young, so new__  
__  
_He sings softly as he strokes her hair, his voice still choked with unshed tears, her eyes are closed but he knows she's not sleeping anymore, not the way she's clinging to him and sniffling quietly.

"Rachel?" he whispers softly

"Don't stop," she says quietly, so he obliges.

_And time after time, you'll hear me say  
That I'm so lucky to be loving you__  
__I only know what I know  
The passing years will show  
You've kept my love so young, so new__  
__  
And time after time, you'll hear me say  
That I'm so lucky to be loving you__  
__Time after time you'll hear me say  
That I'm so lucky to be loving you  
__  
Just you, just you_

"What's going to happen to us now Finn?" She says quietly. after awhile "I have to go back home, you have to go to the Army, nothing is ever going to be the same again now."

"I won't go if you don't want me to go Rachel, I'll stay if you ask me to."

She finally opens her eyes and looks up at him. "I know you would." she says after awhile. "But I can't ask you to do that. You'll end up in jail over me and I can't allow that."

"But I can't leave you now," he says. "You're right, things are different, everything is different Rachel."

"But there's no baby," she reminds herself sadly. "There's no reason to stay."

"There's you," he replies, and the first hint of a smile he's seen on her face since the news finally appears.

"I want you to go Finn," she says tearfully. "Even though the thought of it kills me, I know it's what you want. And I know you'll be okay because you can do anything Finn Hudson, you can survive anything. Just be safe okay?"

"I will," he says simply, and presses a firm kiss to her forehead. "I promise."

"Rachel… Finn," The quiet voice behind them startles them both, and they turn to face the door, both scrambling upright at the sight of Rachel's parents standing at the door.

"Finn, can we be alone with our daughter for a moment?" Hiram says, no anger in his voice. And Finn and Rachel both know that arguing will get them nowhere.

"I'll be right outside the door okay," Finn says softly, and kisses her without hesitation before disappearing from the room.

"Rachel, are you alright?" Shelby says, her voice hard, and Rachel can't manage to say anything, she simply shakes her head.

"Just what were you thinking young lad—

"Shelby, please," Hiram says, cutting her off. "Clearly she's been through enough."

"Been through enough?" Shelby says incredulously. "What exactly has she been through that she hasn't brought completely upon herself Hiram? I don't understand Rachel, you were supposed to be—

"Perfect?" Rachel interrupts. "Your perfect little Broadway baby? Is that right?"

"Do not try to throw your accusations at us Rachel Barbra Berry you—

"Shelby, enough!" Hiram finally barks, and she looks shocked to say the least, but remains silent.

"I don't understand what you're so upset about," Rachel cries. "There's no baby, you got what you wanted. Now we can go home and pretend none of this ever happened just like you wanted."

"Rachel," Hiram says, walking up to her bed and sitting on the corner of it. "This isn't what we wanted darling. We just wanted you to have a chance, that's all."

"It doesn't matter now," she says, swiping at her tears. "The baby's gone, and I know I should be relieved but I'm not, I'm heartbroken papa."

"I know," He says, taking his daughter into his arms. "I know you are honey."

"If I had given it away at least I could imagine it was living a happy life somewhere, with parents who loved it, but now… it's just gone."

"It'll be alright Rachel," He says, kissing the top of his daughter's head.

"So are we just going to ignore the fact that our 16 year old daughter tried to run off with some boy?" Shelby says.

She wants to tell Shelby for what feels like the millionth time that Finn isn't just some boy, but either she's too exhausted to fight or simply doesn't see the point anymore, so she says nothing.

"Shelby now is not the time, but we do have a lot to talk about when we get home," Hiram says.

"What about Finn?" Rachel says, sniffling.

"That boy worries me Rachel," Hiram says. "He not only deliberately went against our wishes but he could have put you in danger."

"Finn would never do anything to hurt me daddy, he wouldn't."

"I know that what we did seemed harsh, but we did it to protect you, to give you a future and he couldn't respect that, I can't in good conscience let that pass."

"I'm not asking you to," Rachel cries. "But you have to accept the fact that he did what he did because he loved me."

"Rachel, you choosing to be with that boy is what got you into this mess in the first place," Shelby chimes in.

"Finn was ready to make a commitment to me, he didn't go running scared like you always said he would, he's a good man and he deserves to be treated that way."

If she would have said all of this before they would have fought her tooth and nail, but after what Finn did, it was hard to ignore just how strongly he felt about her, how deeply committed he was to loving her, and they couldn't argue against it anymore no matter how badly they wanted to, and they clearly wanted to.

"The doctor says we can take you home now," Hiram says, his voice sad. "We'll give you some privacy, let you get dressed."

"Before she can say anything more he gets up from her bed and walks out, leaving Rachel alone with her thoughts.

He sits by the door, his knee bouncing uncontrollably, his fingers knitted together tight. He hopes that Rachel will be okay, that her parents don't go too ballistic, but he doesn't have the time to worry as he hears the door open and her parents trudging out. He shoots up from his chair, looking Hiram right in the eye, even though the urge to look down at the floor with his hands shoved in his pockets is overwhelming.

"Listen, Mr. Berry I…" he tries to find the words, any words, but they get lost somehow, the trauma of the night finally taking its toll. He doesn't want to cry in front of them, but he can't keep the tears at bay. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"It's alright son," Hiram says softly, hesitantly embracing the younger boy as he cries. "Everything's going to be alright."

* * *

_Dearest Marley,_

_I'm glad that it's summer, I can stay cooped up in my room without much trouble, I'm just not ready to face the world yet. I still haven't spoken to anyone except for my parents, not even Finn. It hasn't kept him from trying of course, he comes by every day with the pretense of helping LeRoy with the yard work like old times. I look down at him from the window when he comes, and I notice the way he always looks back up at me, like he knows somehow. My mother is still furious of course, but I don't know what to make of my father, who seems sad about more than just the events of the last week. And the fact that he never sends Finn away makes me feel more anxious than anything. I like to think they've come to an understanding, I've apologized so many times and he seems to have accepted, so perhaps the same is true for Finn as well, but I know my father, or at least I think I do. He and my mother have barely spoken since I returned and I worry I'm at fault. I didn't want to cause so much trouble, but I hope they understand one day why I did what I did, even though in the end it resulted in so many tears. I know that the time has come to break the silence, especially with Finn, he ships out in less than a month and the thought of him leaving with so little unsaid between us is unacceptable. I just have to find the words and the courage to say them. Anyway, I hope you are well, and that you will once again pass this along to Santana and Quinn. Give everyone else my love._

_Very best wishes,_

_Rachel Berry._

She seals the letter, the third she's written to Santana, Quinn and Marley in the week she's been home, and sets it on her nightstand. It's morning and the sound of the lawnmower and the smell of cut grass wafts into her room, as unnecessary as she thinks re landscaping the entire backyard is she's glad she's been able to see LeRoy every day, and by extension Finn, even if it's just from the window. It breaks her heart the way he looks up at her, so much sadness and longing in his eyes. She tries to force a weak smile, but he doesn't smile back, he only looks sadder, and it's then that she decides she has to see him, really see him. She turns on her heel and takes a deep breath before approaching the door, but she's stopped in her tracks by the presence of Hiram standing there, already dressed for work.

"Papa, you gave me a fright," she says, her hand over her palpitating heart.

"Rachel, sweetheart, we need to talk," he says a bit dourly, and she wonders what he could possibly look so troubled about.

"Papa, I don' know how else to apologize for everything that happened, I feel like I've done so a thousand times."

"It's not about that," he says, setting Rachel even more on edge. "I think you need to sit." She obliges, wordlessly backing up and taking a seat on her bed.

He breathes deep, his face serious, and turns to face her. "Rachel my darling. Your mother and I… we're getting a divorce."

Her breath catches in her throat at his words, and she knows that it's self centered but the thought that immediately comes to mind is that this is her fault. That the rift between them she's noticed for several days, that's possibly existed for years was widened beyond repair by her antics in Oregon.

"Is it because of me?" she says, her voice small.

"No, no precious, it wasn't you," He assures her. "It was me, the truth is I haven't been honest, not with you, not with your mother, not even with myself as it turns out."

"What exactly weren't you honest about papa," she says, and she notices the way his eyes go to the window at the sound of LeRoy's whistling.

"If you'll forgive me, I think I'd like to be dishonest just a little while longer," he says, his voice breaking.

"Does mother know?" Rachel says, understanding, her voice calmer than Hiram expects.

"She knows enough," Hiram says. "Denies the rest."

She thinks in a way she's always known that her father was different, and that perhaps LeRoy was different too.

"I think that's why I couldn't fight harder, to keep you here," Hiram continues. "With your situation on top of everything happening with your mother I couldn't handle it all, I was too weak to handle it all. I just want you to know that no matter what you do, no matter what mistakes you make in life, I'll always love you, you'll always be my star. Nothing you do could ever change that."

She can't control the tears that erupt from her eyes as she throws her arms around her father, her father who used to let her wear his thick glasses as a little girl so she could delight in making herself dizzy, her father who's lap she would sit on while he taught her the piano, her father whom she loved unconditionally. "I love you too papa."

They don't say much else more before he goes to work, but she knows that there's still more to say, she supposes the time will come soon, but for now there are other matters to attend to. First her mother, who she can hear crying softly in her room, even with the door shut, she knows this can't be easy for her, and although her and her mother have never seen eye to eye, she still loves her. She tiptoes in softly, not saying a word. She is lying on her side with the curtains drawn, casting the room in darkness, still in her pajamas.

"Mother," she says softly, to which Shelby doesn't respond. She doesn't expect her to, but she inches forward anyway, placing a hand on Shelby's shoulder, feeling her shake with hushed sobs. She still doesn't speak but her hand comes up to meet Rachel's, squeezing it gently. For now that will have to be enough.

* * *

Somehow she doesn't hesitate to smile at LeRoy the way she has so many times before, and he doesn't hesitate to smile back and throw her his trademark wink when she sets foot outside. But she didn't come to talk to LeRoy, not yet anyway.

"Rachel," Finn says, looking surprised to see her outside for the first time in days. "Are you alright?"

"I'm okay," she assures him. "I'm better."

"That's good," he says. "You look better."

"I've gotten a lot of rest," she explains. "My strength is almost back to normal."

"That's good," he repeats shifting his feet nervously.

"Finn, we need to—

"Yeah, I know," Finn finishes. "LeRoy, I'll be right back."

"Take all the time you need son," LeRoy says, not looking up from his work.

They walk together down the sidewalk, both trying to find the right words, both coming up with nothing, there's so much that she wants to say to Finn, but somehow the only words she can manage are

"How's Kurt?"

"He's great," Finn says. "He's finally applying to some colleges."

"Oh yeah, which ones?"

"Berkeley and Stanford are his top choices," Finn answers, making Rachel smile a little. Because of course those would be his top choices after meeting one Blaine Anderson.

"How about Burt and Carole?"

"Burt's good, Carole cries a lot these days."

"That's because she's really going to miss you," Rachel explains and she stops in her tracks, turning to face him. "She's not the only one."

He doesn't say anything, but she has to take a step back a little as he kisses her, for the first time since she got back he kisses her full on the mouth, but she breaks it almost as soon as he initiates it.

"I'm sorry," he says sadly. "I don't even know if that's still allowed."

"Finn, I…"

"What, what's the matter?"

"I just want you to know that I'm sorry I've been so distant."

"It's okay, I understand."

"No, you don't," she says a bit shortly. "You don't understand anything that's been going through my head these past few days because I haven't let you, I haven't wanted you to. But I want you to know now I just don't know how to say it."

"You don't have to say anything Rachel," he says brushing her hair behind her ear. "You can take all the time you need."

"Finn, you don't have to treat me like that," she says, her voice breaking.

"Like what?"

"Like I'm the only one this is happening to," she continues, raising her voice a little. "I'm not the only one who lost a child Finn, you did too and you've been so strong through it all, but I'm telling you now that you don't have to be, if you want to scream at me for killing our baby then you can because that's how I feel about myself right now."

"Stop it," he says firmly taking her into his arms, not allowing her to struggle away. "Just stop it okay, stop right now. For the last time this wasn't your fault."

"Then why do I still feel like this?" She cries.

"Because you're sad, and I'm sad too" He explains. "And sometimes it's easier to be mad at yourself than sad, but Rachel you have to accept the fact that this was nobody's fault, can you do that for me? Please. If you still love me then can you do that for me?"

She sniffles as she wraps her arms tighter around Finn, and he can feel her nodding reluctantly against his chest.

"I just wanted you to know that I'll miss you terribly and I love you very much, that I always will Finn Hudson," she finally says. "That's all."

"Is that it? That's what it took you a week to say?" Finn chuckles, and she nods against him again.

"It was worth the wait," He replies. "I love you too Rachel Berry."

**Stay Tuned for the Epilogue folks!**


	12. Epilogue

**Welcome to the epilogue. We're finally here, there were moments even I was worried that I would never finish this, but now that I have I am beyond proud of it, even if it did go in a different direction than I was expecting when I first started. But I like to think the conclusion is fitting, if a bit bittersweet. BTW I threw a crackship of mine in at the end, well, it's more implied, but still, I really hope it doesn't bother anybody too much, if it does I apologize in advance. I just couldn't help it. Anyway, thank you all so much for reading and if you're tuning in to Rachel Rises a new chapter should be up before the weekend.**

**Ohio, May 1953**

He knew that he was going to miss her, that he would miss all of them, but he wasn't prepared for just how much he would. Every day away from his family was harder than the last and all he wanted was to see them again if only for a moment. Now as he awaits Kurt's arrival at the train station he can't help but feel a bit nervous. He knows that not much has changed since he left nearly two years ago, but being back in America already feels like stepping into a different world.

"Finn, oh my god Finn!" His face breaks out into a beaming smile at the sight of his friend rushing up to him, he looks the same, maybe a tad more grown up, but he supposes that was to be expected. He wants to give him a solid hug as a little reminder that he's home again, but the smaller boy stops short at the sight of his arm sling, and his smile falls ever so slightly.

"I'm so glad you're home Finn," Kurt says. "I just wish you would have come back in one piece."

"What are you talking about Kurt, I'm still in one piece," Finn insists. "My shoulder will probably never be the same again but I'm lucky I'm not dead."

"I'll say," Kurt replies.

"So are you going to give me a hug or what?" Finn teases.

"Oh, I don't know, I don't want to hurt yo—

Finn doesn't let Kurt finish before he hugs him with one arm, waiting until Kurt hesitantly returns the hug before he breaks it.

"It's great to see you Kurt, I'm so glad you could make it here from San Francisco," Finn says as they begin walking toward the car.

"Well, actually…" Kurt starts tentatively, a small smile on his face. "I left Stanford last semester."

"What?" Finn asks in disbelief. "Why? I thought things were going so well."

"They were, but you know sometimes plans change, San Francisco's great but there's still so much world to see, and me and Blaine thought we'd give New York a try for a while."

"New York," Finn says, his voice a bit distant, because he couldn't hear those two words without automatically thinking of her.

"Besides, I know Rachel Berry seems tough but she couldn't have been more transparent about me switching colleges so we could get a place out there together. Me and Blaine start the New York Academy for The Dramatic Arts in September."

He can't help the small smile that reaches his lips at Kurt's words, Kurt and Rachel were never particularly close before, but he supposes going through what they all went through together had a way of bonding people.

"How is she?" Finn says darkly.

"Haven't you been writing back and forth nonstop for the past two years?" Kurt asks. "I must have gotten at least 100 letters from her during my time at Stanford."

"Well of course we wrote each other, but that's not the same as being able to see her Kurt, you've seen her a lot more recently than I have, how is she, I mean really?"

"Why don't you see for yourself?" Kurt says with a smirk as they approach his car, and Finn stops immediately in his tracks as he sees her emerge from the car. He can't speak, he can't move, he can only stare. She's somehow more beautiful than he remembered, her hair is a bit shorter, and done up in loose waves, and he knows he's never seen that curve-hugging blue dress before, but she's still Rachel, which becomes immediately apparent when her face breaks out into an ear to ear smile at the sight of him.

"Rachel," he says in almost a whisper. "I was going to come to your house I was—

She cuts him off, cupping his face in her hands and dragging her mouth across his cheek in quick, firm kisses until she lands on his mouth, and he wishes more than anything that he could hold her tight with both arms, but he settles for bringing her in closer with one, letting her rest her small hand gently on his injured shoulder.

"Why are you crying honey bear?" he says softly as he looks at her face, streaked with tears.

"Because," she responds, her voice strained. "I just missed you so much. I know you were going to come to the house but I just couldn't wait that long."

"I'm glad you didn't," he says and he kisses her again.

"Okay lovebirds, times a wastin'" Kurt says, breaking them out of their amorous trance. "If I don't bring you home this minute mom and dad are going to throw a fit, lets go."

He obliges, taking Rachel's hand in his as they head into the car.

* * *

Seeing everyone again, it's easy for Finn to get used to being back in Lima, after greeting Burt and Carole and enduring their barrage of questions and Carole's insistence that he have seconds and thirds of his favorite dish, and having to tell her not to cry at least three times, he feels home again, especially with Rachel there beside him, even if she does seem a bit distant, he supposes that's to be expected after so long, they just need to get used to each other again, he'll spend the rest of his life getting used to Rachel Berry again if she'll have him. He was always the lost boy, always the one without a place in the world to call home, but upon returning from two long years fighting for his country overseas, it becomes easy to see that he had one all along, in Burt and Carole, in Kurt and especially in Rachel. It just took him a little bit longer to find it than usual. He doesn't want to leave them again at the end of the night, especially not Carole, who once again makes him feel more loved than any real mother ever could, but he promises to return after walking Rachel home, and to tell the honest truth he yearns to be alone with her for awhile, it's been so long. She doesn't talk much on the way to her house, but she squeezes his hand tightly, maybe even more tightly than before.

It looks different, he notices, the color has been changed from bright yellow to salmon, and the garden is different too, but the tree house is the same, and he wishes his shoulder wasn't in such poor shape so they could go up there together like old times, but he supposes it will still be there when he's healed, and since rumor has it Hiram ran away with the dashing gardener after the divorce (a rumor Rachel herself confirmed to be true in her letters) and Shelby is out of the house for the day, he supposes Rachel's room will do just fine for now.

He can barely wait to get to her room, planting firm kisses along her shoulder and neck from behind as they climb the stairs, hearing her giggle through her weak protests.

"Finn that's hardly appropriate behavior for a decorated military man such as yourself." She teases, and he's happy to make her laugh after tonight, with her seeming so withdrawn for most of it.

"I haven't seen you in two years, to hell with appropriate, he says, sliding off her cardigan and continuing to attack her soft skin with kisses as they enter her bedroom. She spins around in his arms then, facing him, her eyes wide with something that vaguely resembles worry.

"You know, we don't have to do this, I mean after last time—

She cuts Finn off, placing her finger against his lips.

"I want to," she says quietly. "It's just…"

"What's the matter sweetheart?" he says, brushing his knuckles along her cheek.

"There's something I didn't tell you," she says, tears springing to her eyes again. "Sit down."

He obeys, sitting on the edge of her bed, his mind fraught with worry, he's been gone for two years, all matters of things could have happened in two years, he just hoped to god it wasn't another guy, it wasn't another guy was it? No, it couldn't be, they only had eyes for each other, it's what they always said.

"After you left, I started having some problems, I kept falling ill and I was in and out of hospitals for months, and nobody knew what was wrong," she's crying again, the only words he comes away with are 'in and out of hospitals for months' and this can't be happening, he thinks to himself, Rachel couldn't have been sick, what happened with the baby was just something that happened sometimes. "It wasn't the baby, there were problems before I got pregnant I just didn't know about them, it's why I lost it."

"Are you…" he trails off, swallowing the lump in his throat before he can continue. "I mean is everything okay now? Are you better?"

"I am," she says, nodding. "Right as rain I promise," he breathes a sigh of relief then, but he knows there's more to it than that by the look on her face. "Tell me what's wrong then baby, please."

"Getting better came at a cost Finn," she says, her voice choked. "It was a procedure they had to do to make me well again."

"What kind of procedure?" he says, his voice faraway.

She doesn't speak, instead she reaches to the back of her dress, sliding her zipper down and wriggling out of it, and she reaches for her underwear next, pulling them down a little to expose a deep scar on her abdomen. He doesn't know what to make of it, what she's even saying right now.

"I'm empty inside Finn," she cries. "That was the price, you fell in love with a broken woman."

She dissolves into tears and all he can do is reach out for her, pulling her half naked body into his lap.

"Shh, you stop that right now," he says, his own voice thick with tears. "You're not broken, don't ever say that."

"But it's true, and I knew it the moment I lost the baby I just didn't want to believe it."

"How could you not tell me this Rachel?" he says, not angrily. "All those letters, you never said anything, why?"

"I just needed you to be strong while you were over there, I needed you to believe you were coming home to a world of possibilities," she explains. "Not this, not me and my broken family and my broken body."

"Stop, just stop it," he insists, still rocking her and kissing her firmly on the forehead. "Nothing could ever make me not want to come home to you, ever."

"Even this?" she says. "There's no future with me anymore, it's all my mother ever says, I mean she doesn't say it but the implication is there, who would ever want me now?"

"Your mother is wrong, I'll always want you, always."

"Do you promise? I mean I know that's what you said before, but that was when the possibility of me never having children was just a possibility, it's a certainty now Finn. Can you really accept that, can you really accept me?"

He goes quiet at her question, all he's ever really wanted was a family, to marry Rachel and have a bunch of little rugrats that looked just like her, that would never happen and the thought of it choked him up, but not as much as the thought of having children with anyone else. It was Rachel or nobody. That was never clearer than now.

"Marry me," he whispers softly into her ear after a few silent moments.

"What?" she says, drawing back a bit, looking into his eyes for signs of uncertainty, finding none.

"You heard me," he says confidently. "I'm asking you to marry me and I'm not going to take no for an answer Rachel Berry, I won't take your excuses or your reservations, I _will _be your husband if it's the last thing I ever do, and we'll go to New York together and you're going to be famous and—

"We'll adopt," she says ponderously, cutting in. "We'll adopt a child just like you, who needs a home, who needs our love."

"Yeah," he says, liking the idea immediately. "When we're ready, we'll adopt and we'll love that baby just like it was our own, will you do that with me Rachel?"

"Yes," she says as the sadness on her face finally begins to melt away and she leans into him, careful not to hurt his shoulder. "Yes, I will."

* * *

**Five years later**

_Dear Santana, _

_I hope that you and Quinn are doing well. I'm looking forward to visiting when Finn and I return from Oregon, I can't imagine the trip will take long, once we finish the final paperwork we can finally take little Benjamin home to New York. Father and LeRoy can't wait to meet him, they've painted up his room so nicely, and even my mother seems happy all things considered, and Burt and Carole won't stop sending baby clothes and toys, it's all very exciting. And I must also thank you for the rattle you sent as well, little Ben will be a fine musician just like his parents, I'm sure of it. I've only met our son twice but I've already fallen in love with him so completely, although I can't help but feel sad for the poor girl that will never get to know him, she makes me think of Quinn, andI wonder sometimes if she ever still thinks of little Beth. I suppose it's for the best though, this girl needn't fear that Ben won't be loved and taken care of as if he were our own. I already feel like he is. Anyway, I feel I ought to wrap this up, there is much to do, but I wish you and Quinn all the best._

_Sincerely,_

_Rachel Hudson._

As she finishes the letter to Santana she goes over it again, thinking how amazing it is that they've managed to keep in touch all this time. She supposes writing to Santana is a reminder of that time all those years ago when Rachel's future was still so uncertain, a reminder to be thankful for all of the good that has come to her in the passing years. She supposes that's why Quinn and Santana continue to cling to each other. Quinn isn't like Santana, or Kurt and Blaine or her fathers, not really, but she loves Santana all the same, and Rachel thinks that maybe they were meant to find each other, when it came down to it they were both too damaged for anyone else. And when Quinn had her baby it was Santana, not her parents, who was her shoulder to cry on, so when it came time to leave the school it was no surprise that they left together, never truly sure whether they were the best of friends or something more, but not really needing to know.

She replaces the cap on her pen and folds the letter, tucking it in the envelope.

"Rachel, it's time to get a move on!" Finn calls from outside, honking his horn. She can tell that he's excited, excited and nervous. The truth was they had become parents the second they received the call from St. McKinley's, but it feels so much more real now. This time when they come back home, they're coming back with their son.

* * *

She was only here for a short time, but something about this place has stuck with Rachel, and the moment she knew they were ready to adopt her mind immediately went to the school. Very little has changed since the short time she spent at St. McKinley's, same stone walls and tall trees, same iron gate that opened for no one but potential students, or in their case adopting couples. He squeezes her hand as they enter the school grounds, and Rachel swallows hard as she see's headmistress Sylvester there, in the same position atop the stairs as last time, seven years older but no worse for the wear.

"Well well well, right on time. Good to see your troublemaking days are over," Headmistress Sylvester says icily. "Hello again Mr. Hudson."

"Hello Headmistress, nice seeing you again," Finn says with a nervous smile.

"Right this way," she says, her tone still colder than December.

It's only been a few weeks since they've seen him last, but they wonder to themselves if he's grown at all, or if he's smiling yet, or what they'll possibly do with themselves when they finally take him home, it almost feels wrong that they had to wait all this time, but when they enter the small room where he awaits they think it was beyond worth waiting for.

They don't address Marley right away as she holds their son in her arms, cooing softly to the tiny infant. They both thank god for Marley, as a teacher at St. McKinley's she was instrumental in convincing Headmistress Sylvester to recommend them, god knows it wasn't easy for the state of Oregon to fully trust an orphan and a former pregnant teenager with a child, no matter how much they had grown into their adult lives and respected careers as a stage actress and a high school teacher, but none of that mattered now as they entered the room.

"Hi," Marley beams as they go to hug her, the baby between them. 'So happy you finally made it."

"We couldn't wait another second," Rachel says, her eyes fixed on the tiny baby in Marley's arms. "And it's so good to see you again Mrs. Puckerman."

"Why so formal? You can call me Marley."

"I know, I just really like the sound of Mrs. Puckerman." Rachel says sweetly.

"So do I," Marley says dreamily. "But god, where are my manners, here, do you want to hold him?" she continues, passing the baby over to Finn, who still looks ever so anxious about holding his son, even though it isn't the first time, but as the baby settles in his arms his slightly panicked look melts into a warm smile.

"Hey handsome," Finn says softly as the baby looks up at him with an expression that can only be described as fascinated. "Hey little man, are you ready to come home now?"

"I'd say he is," Rachel says, letting Benjamin wrap his little fist around her finger.

"It's like he loves you guys already," Marley says sweetly.

"The feeling is mutual," Rachel says, wiping at her eyes.

"Did you hear that kiddo," Finn says, his own voice breaking. "We both love you so much."

"So, so much," Rachel agrees, snuggling in closer to Finn and giving Benjamin a soft kiss on the forehead. "And we always will."

**That's all folks!**


End file.
